As Promised... My Story About A Woman Discriminated Against...

As promised, I have written a story about some serious discrimination ridiculousness going on at Dunkin Donuts in North Carolina, probably not for what you think (especially being in North Caronlina).  If you know of anyone who could possibly help this woman out, PLEASE, make them aware of this heartbreaking story!

HELP THIS WOMAN!

Where Have I Been?!?!?!

Oh my! I know I have been gone for farrrrrrr too long! I hope you have missed me just as much as I have missed you!  I think about you everyday! ^.^  Well I have been freelance blogging, writing, and editing for LiberalAmerica.org (yay), working, going to school, maintaining my family, and {drumroll please} PLANNING MY WEDDING!!! AHHHH! Woo!  So yea, I've been reading other people's blogs and neglecting my own! (shame!).  I promise that I shall return very, very soon and I feel the need to do a wedding-post (because they're everywhere and I want one too!) But, before I grace your eyes with what will be what I hope a beautiful wedding, I will be back with a seriously hard-hitting post about discrimination in the workplace... not based on gender.. or race... oooo what could it be! I shall return, but until then: Keep being you and love that!

Freelancing...

   So it is official!!! I am now a Freelance blogger for LiberalAmerica.org!!!! Yay!! So excited!! I have also officially blogged my first post -----> First, but not last! <----- check it out!! It's pretty awesome! ^.^  Thank you to everyone who has ever visited this blog, read, laughed, scoffed, and rolled their eyes with and at me ;), it's your pageviews that have given me the drive to take this blogging thing and work it!! :)  I hope you will all enjoy my blog posts here as well as at LiberalAmerica.org!  Have a great weekend, enjoy Father's day and don't forget to tell someone you love them!!!

Incredible Beauty!

  Hello everybody!! I know it's been awhile ( and I'm sure you all missed me :p)  But here I am!  I just had to blog about this incredible artist, Ray Ferrer!  His work is absolutely incredible and inspiring!  I can also say that the artist is a pleasure to work with!  I am enlisting him for some things for my wedding and I couldn't be happier or more excited!  So if you appreciate beauty, art, and a fresh perspective, please go check this out --->

Urban Wall Art Blog Page

Urban Wall Art Etsy

Urban Wall Art Facebook



Just to give you a quick peek into his genius- (I love this piece)

Another note to whoever (1 million moms)

Dear 1 million moms,

I'd first like to applaud you on your over zealous title, seeing that you have still not even come close to 1 million likes, even though you began your warped mission in May of 2009.  I also wonder why you did not choose the title 1 million parents because I am sure there are men out there who share your obscure view on how to better the world.  Surely your blatant discrimination of men could have helped up your numbers a bit?  I scrolled through your fb page (as much as I could stomach) and what I get is that perhaps you're watching too much TV.  Maybe your cause as moms would be more helpful if you focused on making children's lives better as opposed to bullying other people for living theirs?  Perhaps your mission as moms would make more sense if you taught your children how to love everyone or at the very least, respect everyone for their differences.  As a mother, it is truly sad to see a bunch of women who think they are holier than thou, try to bully anyone who they seem to think is challenging them and their "family values".  Forget television, companies, the gay community, etc. ..what kind of example are YOU setting with your actions?  Do you tell your children it's ok to bully other children if they are different?  Do you plot with them when they decide to go after a classmate?  As a mother, here's some motherly advice:
1) mind your own business
2) God makes no mistakes (even though you and your Christianness think he does)
3) when you point your finger at someone, you have 3 fingers pointing back at you.
4) the golden rule that we are taught in kindergarten, treat everyone as you would like to be treated.
5) turn off the TV and read a book.
6) nobody likes a tattletale.
7) life is much easier when you look for the good and not the bad.

If your goal was to truly enlighten people to what was wrong with this country, first you should start with yourself, then you should realize that what you've been campaigning against are the LEAST of anyone's problems.

My Note to Whoever....(starting with A&F)

    Recently I read a very cute note written to Abercrombie and Fitch, written by a self-proclaimed "fat girl".  It got me to thinking, why don't we write notes to everyone who has pissed us off for some reason or another, whether it be big companies or celebrities or random people we run into everyday.  So here are my notes to whoever:

   Dear Mr. CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch,
How dare you think you are above anyone in anyway considering the picture I have found of you.  I had to do double research to determine if you were the one on the right or the left.  It is people like you, with your imaginary sense of prettiness that actually negates your so called cool and popular kid status.  Considering you're at least 60 years old (I'm guessing from the pictures I've seen), it's quite alarming that you are even worried about the popular or cool crowd anymore.  I imagine you were an outcast when you were in high school, so then you grew up and got a lot of money, which you then thought made you pretty and cool... I am here to tell you that your money has not made you pretty or cool.  It's so sad to see a grown man still trying to live life as though he were in high school, I pity you.  As far as your clothes and stores go..  Well, everything you sell is "vanilla", because I have honestly not seen anyone wear anything from Abercrombie and Fitch, with the exclusion of the extremely vanilla everyday, pretty lame shirt that says A&F (a shirt that I see most people throw on to run to the store, probably wal-mart, or to do yardwork, because they don't want to ruin their good clothes), since..... who knows when.  Although I do have to give you kudos for your loyal sheep-like customers, I can remember once, a very, very long time ago, going shopping with a friend.  This friend demanded that we stop at A&F, just to look around, I say demanded, because I did NOT want to go into what appeared to be extremely depressing and delusional store, not to mention the choking perfume or cologne that was wafting out of there so heavily, like desperation spewing from a 60 year old man's mouth as he talks about only wanting to appeal to high schoolers.  In the end, we walked around pretentious 'R' us, and ended up leaving without her buying anything, of course.  Later on that night, we ended up at some kid's party and wouldn't you know, there was a girl there wearing the EXACT same outfit as one of the mannequins at your store!  I couldn't believe it, I was totally mortified that this chick had no sense of originality at all, I literally saw her and had my jaw drop out of disbelief.  This girl then became the drunk belligerent girl who, by the end of the night was hanging on every male at the party...so sad, but not surprising.  I know your words are from a couple years ago, so why don't you do us all a favor and

EVOLVE!

The Hypocrisy and Other Things.....

   Recently one part of the Kriss Kross duo passed away.  He had been in the media a few years ago due to a picture he took with a fan that did not show him or his hair in the greatest light.  The result of that picture was the same as the result of any picture or story that is "celebrity" related.  People made assumptions and the rumors and sh!t talking began.  An editor of some magazine or something wrote up a story about it and suggested that we end "celebrity" bullying.  I heard about this story on a satellite radio station while driving home from work.  I thought it was interesting that this DJ was so adamant about agreeing to end "celebrity" bullying when, whenever I forget to change the channel from hearing these people talk about nonsense, I listen to all of these DJs indulging in "celebrity" gossip and judging this person and that person because of what they wore, how their hair was, who they were with, blah blah blah.  It's so easy for people to jump on the bandwagon of an idea that sounds so noble and catchy, but how do they not realize that they are, in fact, talking about themselves?  I mean, the audacity of someone standing on their soapbox to talk down to others to tell them what THEY should be doing, when they are the biggest perpetrators of said doings.  You may be wondering why I keep putting celebrity in quotation marks... The reason I am doing this is because the people who are being talked about do include actual celebrities such as actors, actresses, singers, etc., but they also include reality stars who are famous simply for being dramatic and ridiculous and therefore I do not see them as celebrities but faux celebrities.  There is an increasingly growing trend of obnoxious people having their every move watched and documented as if they are of some importance.  It's bad enough that because some actress or singer checks into some rehab, it's considered Breaking News, now we're adding these people clinging to their last 2 minutes of fame into the mix.
 
    I'm sure I'm coming off as sounding hateful or mean, but... who cares?!  I love movies and music and TV just as much as the next person, if not more, but what these people wear, date, eat.... is not important.  It doesn't affect me at all and therefore is not news.  I have found myself a little resentful at the money these people make sometimes, especially the young stars, but in the end you really can't knock their hustle, good for them.  I saw a meme online with Jada Pinkett talking on a panel regarding some issue and all the comments where: "she makes millions of dollars, who cares what she has to say?"  Or "She leads a life of luxury, what does she know about the average person?"  If someone is using their celebrity to stand up for a cause, then shut the hell up!?  Disregarding someone because they make a lot of money is the same as disregarding someone because they have no money.  America is in serious trouble with no signs of getting better and it is truly scary.

     It's amazing how many people consider themselves the end all be all of opinions when it comes to anything, especially when they go online.  Granted, I realize I could be put into this category myself, but...who really cares?!  If more people started worrying about themselves and their own family, imagine the possibilities!  In the immortal words of the little girl in the video below....

WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF!

Oh the horror. ...

    Recently an article from Sports Illustrated detailing an interview done with Jason Collins, who plays professional basketball, and about him coming out to the public as homosexual was posted on Tom Joyner's Facebook fan page. To say that the comments were disappointing, would be an understatement. I hate that the black community is not willing to progress. I hate that hate is the forefront of most opinions. Hate = fear + ignorance. So don't tell me it's an abomination or against God's will. How can you even use the same argument as the kkk with a straight face? It's disappointing and saddening to see that so many share such a hateful view of others. I consider myself to be a God fearing woman who loves Jesus and praises his name everyday, but I choose to go with the positive messages like love one another, judge not lest ye be judged and the lesser known mind your business. Don't quote me on that last one. Black people are so quick to quote Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr when it applies to race, but do they realize his messages included everybody. ... even the lgbt community? We gotta do better, growing is a good thing, let's all grow together and pass it onto our children. ..

A Day in the life of a sufferer...

       Wake up- another beautiful day... Oh wait not that beautiful. ..I have a migraine.  Sit up take 2 of 4 of my daily preventive pills and throw in a few advil to take the edge off of this jackhammer going off in my brain.  Into my child's room to wake them up for school, because I wake up much earlier than necessary to give them more time to stall getting ready. Take a shower, it's quite the task when you can't lean over because you know that will take this migraine from a 7 to a 20, but careful to also not turn too quickly or that way or this way for too long either. Survived the shower, now onto making sure the little one is getting ready. Oh good, she wants to fight about the time because she's tired. .. Ok no need to overreact because your head is exploding, try to be comforting so the situation doesn't get out of hand, I'm sure she won't notice you talking with your teeth bared.
      Getting on the road-Ok we're in the car, only 5 minutes behind, not bad, could be worse. Great, the school bus obviously doesn't see my huge SUV speeding down the road and that's why they chose to jump in front of me, cutting me off, and going 20 miles an hour. .. the same speed as the person next to them! Ok well at least I made it to the daycare to drop off my mini me, think it's time to pop some of the hard stuff. ...better make it two, hopefully that'll stop the tiny fairy from stabbing my skull. Oh yay traffic and more being cut off, well at least now I can add people nearly hitting me and going insanely slow and randomly braking because they're obviously texting. .. but who could they be texting at 730 in the morning I wonder?
     Starting the work day- Well I made it to work, 2 victories down. (The first one was dropping off my child, in case you forgot)  Thanks to traffic I still have 3 minutes to get inside. Thanks traffic! Ahhhh the lovely sounds of loud children, dogs barking, and insanely opinionated television sets in the background of all my calls, that medicine can kick in at anytime.... Oh this wasn't done right and this is the first time I've seen it and talked to you about it? Well, by all means, please feel free to scream and berate me for the issue. Well the medicine kicked in, but not enough to ease the pulsating drum behind me eyes, so I'm going to have to call it a day and go home.
    Back home- Another day not fully worked, how am I ever going to catch up with my bills? Staring at this computer screen trying to finish my homework feels like staring straight into a light bulb. Wow look at the time, and all I've accomplished is one sentence. I'll try again after I pick up my daughter.
      Bed time-I'm so excited to go to sleep, helping a 1st grader with homework should not be so difficult. Good thing she enjoys hot dogs so much, I'll try to cook tomorrow.  Guess I'll have to try to do my homework tomorrow as well.  I want to watch tv with my husband but it seems so loud and bright! Oh the volume is on 5? Well I'll just close my eyes and slowly turn over because this position is killing me and if I turn over too fast I'm likely to throw up because my head says so. But, before I close my eyes I'm just gonna take my other preventative meds and pop a couple more advil to try and quell the freightliner doing donuts in my brain.
       Good night.

  Luckily everyday is not like this, but unfortunately many are and some are even worse. Suffering from excessive migraines is extremely tough because it's very hard to find out why.  Everybody has triggers, but not everybody is blessed enough to know what those triggers are.

Now I understand....

  When I was younger I told my mother that I never wanted to have kids or even get married.... EVER!  I stood by that thinking for quite awhile into my 20s... and then came along my beautiful baby boy and all of my feelings changed regarding having children.. (still had to get my mind wrapped around getting married).  Now, 2 kids, a fiancee, and many years later I am starting to think that maybe I had that outlook because somehow I knew how scary this world was going to be.....  The biggest concerns I used to have about my children were being bullied, being clumsy enough to hurt themselves seriously, eating the right things, possibly being kidnapped or getting molested... While those things are still incredibly scary and constantly on my mind, I now have "other" issues that I must add to that list.  I now live in fear that with each phone call I am getting and not getting could mean my children might be facing some crazy person with a gun or a bomb threat at their school.  Watching the news is horrifying and almost at this point it's sad that the headline "gunman... blah blah blah" is pretty much "the norm".  It's amazing that this world that can be such a beautiful and magnificent place can also be so terrifyingly scary to the point of thinking about it all brings one to tears.  I am scared of the world my children are growing up in.  My heart goes out to Baltimore this evening, such a tragedy that shouldn't have happened......

Parent Win.....then.....Parent Fail...

  Yesterday I had a couple different experiences with people.  The first experience was positive, made my heart smile.  While at the pizza shop, I walked up to the counter to place my order and when I was done, I turned to go sit down and wait.  There were 3 chairs that lined that wall in the tiny building and 2 of those were taken by a woman and her son.  I told my mini me to sit in the remaining chair and I stood by the wall.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw the woman talking and motioning to her son and then he stood up.  The woman moved to the farthest seat away and told me to have a seat.  I was astonished, as you don't see that very often nowadays.  There have been many numerous times when I have had to stand while grown men would sit and not offer their seat.  I told the mother and son thank you and she told me she was trying to teach him young.  I happily exclaimed that I was doing the same with my son, making sure he holds the door for people and such as well.  We laughed a bit and I told him that it would pay off in the end!  When they were leaving I made sure to tell her that she was a good mother.  That encounter completely made my day and restored a bit of faith in humanity for me...... that is until I went to the movies later that night......


   My fiancee and I went to go see Evil Dead, I was very excited because I loved the first one so much, even though I had heard it wouldn't be campy at all, I had to see it, just to see it.  We got to the theater, bought our tickets and started to head in.  My fiancee had to use the bathroom, so I went into the theater, which was right next to the bathroom.  There was a man standing in front of the doors who asked to see my ticket..I thought that was odd, but showed him anyway and he said he'd remember my man for when he finished doing his business and I went in to get a seat.  We always sit in the very back at the top, because we don't like people behind us.  As I was approaching the top row, I noticed the first 2 people sitting at the very end of the row at the top of the stairs was an older woman and a little boy, probably around the age of 8, maybe 9.  I couldn't believe that this child was in here for this movie, let alone being brought by his mother!  Maybe it was his aunt, grandmother, whoever she was, she was old enough to know better.  I stepped past them with an "excuse me" and sat a few seats away.  When I looked to my right after sitting down, I noticed the 2 people sitting closest to me were 2 young little girls, I'm sorry, 2 young TALKATIVE little girls.  They couldn't have been more than 13, maybe 12.  I thought my mind was going to explode at the obvious disregard for these children.  I'm not the best parent in the world and I consider myself to be pretty lax about most things, but come on!  After sitting next to the 2 most annoying out of place children in the world, I decided I had had enough and instead of unleashing on them like I wanted to, I simply chose to move away to new seats. (Very proud of myself for that)  Not only were these little girls in a movie totally inappropriate for their age group, but they clearly had no respect for other people with all of the noise they were making.


   After the movie, a family of 3 passed by us going down the aisle, the mother, father, and their 6 year old son.  I don't understand this phenomenon.  Why is it ok to take young children to such graphic movies?  What are these parents achieving by allowing this?  Am I the one who is crazy to think that this is not ok?  Who knows, maybe it is just me.  Maybe it is just me who thinks that subjecting such young and impressionable minds to such gore is not the appropriate thing to do.  Maybe it's just me who thinks that we should be surrounding children with positive images and educational aspects of life and show them the benefits of being kind, gracious, and things alike.  While I'm all about giving kids the reality of life, I don't find anything from Evil Dead to be any kind of reality.

What do you think?

This is life. .. for some. ..

Everyday I wake up, I know who I am. .I am a black woman living in America.  This concept seems simple enough to me and not a big deal.  I go to work, deal with my issues, take care of my bills and my family. .. normal things?  I grew up extremely naive of the world as a military brat around white people most of my young life.  I was never truly privy to the hate that people had towards people like me, it was never an issue.  Anybody who did have an issue never made it known to me.

    As an adult I am seeing everyday just how naive I was.  With the election my eyes have been opened even more so and it sucks.  I'm never one to judge someone based on superficial reasons.  I judge you according to how you act, not your gender, race, age, or anything else that doesn't necessarily make a person be this way or that.  I also know that there are plenty people in the world who are also this way, but it's pretty annoying to see these blogs.. such as "stuff black people don't like" where hatred is the common denominator.  People that are commenting are teachers. .. and that's scary! Not only teachers are commenting, I'm just saying....  I've never considered myself a cynical person, but being slapped in the face with such a reality is definitely cause to see things with more of a fine tooth comb.  With every skipped over opportunities and attitude given,  I not only have to look at myself and ask what did I do wrong, I also have to ask if it's possible that I just wasn't the preferred race.  I not only have to reexamine these things in regards to me but my children as well. 

  It's a hard truth to swallow knowing that no matter how intelligent, qualified, or experienced that I am or my children are. ... the only qualifications that will matter are our beautiful skin tone and preconceived notions that go along with it. People ask me why do I look at things like that blog. ...I tell them that I have to be informed about things going on around me, not so much for me but for my children. .. it would be irresponsible for me not to be aware of these things.  I don't go searching for these hateful things, but with the increase of technology and social media. .. It gives everyone the opportunity to show their ass, figuratively and literally lol.  It's hard being the best person you can be but denied common decency because of ignorance.  There have been many occasions where I have dealt with people and it was obvious that they felt they were entitled to being treated better than I was when they didn't even know me.  I often wonder where does this feeling of entitlement come from? Why do people feel that they are the exception to the rules because they are them?  Why do they feel that I am not worthy because they are them? And why do they feel that they should not be called on it? How can you get mad at someone for calling you out on your actions? You mean you're mad because I'm mad that you're out of line. ..you're mad that I'm mad with you????

   Do I think racism will ever go away? Not likely, hate begets hate and very rarely does it beget courage to overcome it.  The best I can do is educate mine and try to spread that knowledge and be as aware as possible.  To the people on that blog and blogs and mindsets alike I say. .. God bless you all.

D W B

   I recently upgraded my old Honda civic to a brand spanking new Dodge Durango.  I have driven this truck to and from work everyday since then as well as other places, but I had an experience that I had only heard about or witnessed from the sidelines up until then.  On one particularly non special morning I was driving to work.  It was very early in the morning, before seven.

    I drove the same route I always drive in the same hurried fashion that I keep trying to break myself of, all while talking to my fiancé on my cool new car blue tooth function.  Driving down the road going 5, possibly 10 miles over the speed limit (not sure because I always get the speed limit wrong by like 5 miles on that road since it's usually a caravan of people driving in a giant cluster).  On this particular morning I happened to be pretty much alone going down the street when I could see the light turning yellow.  I started slowing down and as I got closer to the light I noticed a cop car to the right, kinda hiding behind some large trees.  By the time I was able to see him I was going pretty slow in order to stop at the light.  I passed him and I stopped very shortly afterwards at the light.  After a few moments he pulled out behind me.

   I didn't think anything of it, but then the light turned green and his lights started flashing!  I couldn't believe I was getting pulled over!  I knew I hadn't done anything wrong so I waited for him to walk up to my window with my fiancé patiently waiting as well on the bluetooth.  The officer reached my window and the first question out of his mouth was: "is this your car?"  It was such an unexpected question that I actually had to think about it for a second.  I told him yes of course this is my car!  After a bit of back and forth about what speed I was going (he didn't even know the speed limit either), I eventually have him the information he requested.  I watched him take my paperwork and license to the back of my car and join 2 other cops who were suddenly back there.

   As my fiancé and I began talking about what happened I kept my eyes on the gaggle of hens in my rearview mirror.  We discussed how ridiculous it was for him to ask me that and I began getting extremely irritated as the reality of the situation began to sink in.  My irritation grew to anger as I watched the 3 cluckers stand behind me laughing and talking while wasting my time in the process.  With my anger came assumptions as to what was so funny to the 3 white officers who obviously racial profiled me and were now probably making racist jokes at my expense.  The cop finally came back, handed me my information and told me snottily to watch my speed and something else I think,  I was still preoccupied by what had just happened.  My fiancé says I should have gotten his badge number but I explained that I was in too much shock to even think of that.

    That experience was a first for me as far as directly in my face type of racism that I noticed. I've heard stories about people being racially profiled,  but never actually had it happen until then.  It was a reality check of epic proportions about the underlined feelings that are still prevalent today.  I know the situation could have been worse and I thank God it wasn't,  but I will never forget the events of that day. It reminds me of that song by Kanye West, All Falls Down: "Even if you're in a Benz, you're still a nigger in a coupe."
 

My fiancee says the craziest things...

    One day my fiancee and I were leaving a discount store and when we got to the corner, there was a homeless couple. The man was holding the sign and the woman was sitting down. My finance looked at me and said, look where we're at! We're not at some high end store,we're leaving the poor people store. Why do homeless people beg from poor people?  We're barely a step above them, that doesn't even make sense!

   Personally I thought this to be hilarious, true and hilarious.&nbsp; Don't get me wrong, my fiancee, although brutally honest and sometimes extremely mean, he would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it.  It does make me wonder though, you never truly know the backstory of what people went through or are going through. It's hard out for everybody, living paycheck to paycheck, struggling to pay bills and still trying to come up in life.  So of course it's hard to see people who are worse off. I couldn't imagine not having anybody in this world to help me out when I need it.

   It's an annoying internal debate to want to help every lost soul in the world you encounter, but know that you can't because you have to provide for your own first. For me, I think the worst thing we can do as parents is not be the strength our children need so I absolutely hate to see people panhandling with their kids in tow. One time I was coming out of a store at like 11 pm on a Tuesday night and this woman approached me with her obviously embarrassed daughter pulling up the rear. The woman was telling me how they had no food to eat, no diapers for her baby, etc etc. I kept glancing at her daughter who was probably no more than 9 or 10 and you could tell she was mortified. I didn't get the impression that she was sad because of what her mother was saying, I got the feeling that she was desperately trying to telepathically teleport herself far, far away. The mother was acting in a manner such as that of an addict, grinding her teeth and not able to stand still, so I could only imagine the real reason for the begging.

  At the end of the day though I'll never know what was really going on or how that poor child was actually feeling. I didn't have any change so I couldn't help her, but I imagine that someone that hard up should be asking for food and not money. I couldn't imagine putting my children through that, being that type of influence for them. I understand that children loosen the heart strings, but come on now.....    But alas that is only my opinion looking in from the outside. But when I was down and out, which I have been a couple times, the thought of putting that burden on my children never entered my head....

Best Thing E.V.E.R

   I totally just had a HUGE "Go Me" attack while getting ready for work.  It's always so easy for me to get down on myself for this or that and just go nutzo for, no reason, on myself at the most random times.  This morning though I had a complete 180 of that!  I was getting ready for work and thinking about all of the projects I am trying to get going like, my foundation, PTA, write a book, school, blah blah blah.  I was thinking about my book, and I just started thinking about how incredibly good it will be, especially if I am able to put it on screen or something.  I am so excited to get this book done!  It is something that needs to be out there, it is long overdue.  That is all, I just wanted to share that with everyone, Try to have a giant "Go Me" today!  It's really fun! :D

People today...

   I took my car to the dealership to see about getting a part I needed for my car and the guy told me I would need to wait while they looked it over to assess the supposed "damage", pfft!  Anyway, I went to go look for a seat outside as I figured the wait shouldn't be too long and there was an older woman sitting there already. I got a phone call as I approached her and the bench and asked her if I could sit down, she obliged.  I sat down next to the older woman and got into my phone conversation, making sure not to be that obnoxious loud, ridiculous person on a cellphone.  I was on my phone, telling my friend about me and my daughter watching RuPaul's Drag Race and blah blah blah.  I noticed that the woman next to me gave me a "look".  I looked over at her and she rolled her eyes at me... I asked her if there was something I could do for her.  She asked me how old my daughter was, I told her 6, she told me that I should be a more responsible parent.  It was at this point that I told my caller I would have to call them back.  It took all the strength in the world for me to not flip out on this woman, instead I thought rationally and decided to see where this was going.

   I took a deep breath and asked the woman to continue.  She explained to me that "good, normal" men do not walk around in women's clothing, especially on TV and good parents do not allow their children to watch such nonsense.  It's bad enough that I, myself, would buy into such disgusting behavior, but to allow my child to do so as well at such a young age, is just dangerous.  As politely as I could, I went in on this older woman.  I explained to her that unfortunately, I do not know any "good, normal" men, and neither would I want to.  I do not want to expose my daughter to "good, normal" men either.  I am raising my children not to be like people such as her, I teach my children that there is nothing wrong with just being you.  I teach my children not to judge other people for who they are.  I also remind my children that it wasn't so long ago that our ancestors were discriminated against as well for something they could not control, and still happens to this day.  I asked her why she thought that men who did drag were disgusting?  She of course told me it wasn't Christian-like.  I simply looked at her and sighed.  I asked her about the part of the Bible where it says to love everyone as Jesus has loved us?  I asked her if she had done some things in her life that weren't exactly "Christian-like",  I asked her how horrible would it be if everyone were to go through life ganging up on people only because of what they see, never to actually know people as people but as broad unjustified generalizations...  I told her it has happened before, happens today in fact, every single day.  I asked her what if people were to judge her without ever knowing her.  She stared at me blankly through all of my questions and was still just staring at me, trying to find the words when the guy came up to me and told me that they were ready.

   I got up and the woman watched me as I stood up, still contemplating what she should say, and I turned to her, told her my name and that it was nice to talk to her.  I left her with: I didn't assume that you were racist because you were white.  You shouldn't assume that men who dress up as women are anything less than people who deserve common courtesy just like you and everybody else.  Nobody wants to be written off because of who we are, just think about that, please.  Have a great day.

    People ask me if I am obsessed with gay people or drag queens.  I wouldn't call it obsessed, I just enjoy and admire people who are true to themselves, it's just a bonus if they're fabulous! :D  I am an admirer of people who are different, people who are fun, (this list can go on and on), and I live for the opportunity to stand up for what's right and have an intelligent conversation.

It's For Your Benefit, Really.....

So a friend and I were having a conversation about watching slavery movies with white people, if I would watch one with her.  I hadda stop and think about this for a moment..... The conclusion I came to was that is not a situation I would want to be in.  I don't think that would be comfortable AT ALL.  I am ashamed to admit that I am just now catching up on the movies that show how my ancestors have been treated throughout history, like Rosewood, Ghosts of Mississippi, Malcolm X, and such.  I still have yet to see Roots and Amistad.  I never wanted to watch these movies in the past because I knew how horrible, saddening, and depressing they would be. 

  It's a hard pill to swallow to think that years ago, my ancestors were lynched, beaten, burned, raped,  tortured and other horrible acts... simply because people of a different skin color deemed them less than human because of the difference of that skin color.  My ancestors were not judged by their acts, but by the color of their skin.  They were treated worse than animals... human beings thought less of than dogs, simply because their skin was different.  The beautiful, NATURAL, brown skin they were born with elicited hate so strong that they were killed for it.  That just amazes, bewilders, angers, saddens, and angers me so much.  Yes I said anger twice because it is upsetting to an unknown degree. 

  Granted I do not hold anyone accountable for mistakes of the past, I do not hate white people for what was done back then, nor do I expect them to apologize or attempt to make amends for it.  This does not mean that feelings of anger do not come full force while watching such emotional movies, though.  In an attempt to be honest with myself as well as others, I personally do not think I would feel comfortable in that type of setting.  I would also not be comfortable watching Schindler's list with white people either or going to a Paul Mooney show with them.  There are just certain situations that can and should be avoided in my opinion.  This also avoids the possibility of the wrong thing being said or taken wrong during these situations.

  Of course I know someone is going to say that we should be able to be comfortable in any situation no matter what the color of our skin is collectively, but I'm just being honest as a human being and even I am not perfect.  What do you think?

Help a Sista Out! :D

    Hello beautiful people!!! In my everyday quest to make the world a better place, I have signed up for a Junior Achievement Bowl-A-Thon!! Please help me out and make donations here --> donate, Donate, DONATE!! The page also explains the benefits of your donation! ^.^ Thanks in advance!

Tipping is not just a city in China...

  This morning I'm with my fiancee at the Dr.'s office and in the waiting room was Rachael Ray on the television.  After hearing a story that Rachael Ray does not tip when she goes out to eat, I decided I did not like her.  Granted that story could be wrong, out of context, or what have you, I refuse to condone that type of ridiculousness if it's true.  It's even worse if it's true being that she's a professional cook.  For the life of me I cannot understand people's reluctance to tipping.  Servers have to put up with so much, and the balance of pay to services is not equal. 

 

  Think about when you go out to eat at a normal casual seating restaurant.  There's usually a hostess to seat you, a server to take your order, a bartender to make any alcoholic drinks, sometimes a food runner to bring you your food if it's busy, cooks to cook your food, and a busboy to clean your table.  Just about all of these people get paid less than 4 dollars an hour.  It is extremely rare that any of them will ever get a raise.  Regardless of whether or not you think they should get another job if they are not being paid enough, somebody is going to be that server who serves you.  Everybody enjoys getting out of the house and being waited on and for many reasons.  When you go out to eat, all you have to do is drive to the restaurant, pick out your food, enjoy yourself and then pay for the luxury of doing pretty much nothing.  What comes to mind when I think about people not tipping is: Put yourself in their shoes. 

  Servers do more than just take your order.  Servers have to be each table's any and everything, all while depending on other people to make your time enjoyable.  Servers must be approachable, friendly, kid savvy, good listeners, compassionate, quick, attentive, and take responsibility for everything that goes into your visit; and they must do this with multiple tables at the same time.  For the most part when people go out to eat, their point of contact is the server and the burden for everything is placed upon that one person.  Customer compassion goes out the window when people are hungry and expectant.  Customers don't care if you have 2 tables or 6 tables, if it's slow or a dinner rush, if the kitchen is short staffed or the bartender is busy schmoozing, customers don't realize these things, nor do most of them care. 

   Most servers work their asses off to make sure that you're experience out is amazing, probably not because they're too concerned about you, persay, but because they know that their livelihood depends on how generous you feel at the end of the meal-which servers equate to how happy you are.  Do you ever stop to think how much fun it isn't to be nice and cheerful to people over and over again for hours on end?  Having to be nice to people whose attitudes range from very nice and appreciative to extremely rude and condescending as if you owe them something?  Having to suck it up everytime you give a table 150% and know that they enjoyed themselves greatly, only to have them leave you a 2 dollar tip on a 50 dollar bill after they ran you all night long?  Mechanics charge people much more than servers expect and servers don't have the luxury of just telling you that you need other items to raise your bill and their tip or the luxury of working at their own pace with whatever attitude they want, yet I don't see anyone refusing to pay for labor or leaving snide remarks about the labor they are being charged to pay.

  If you don't have the common sense, common decency, or common knowledge to know that eating out is a luxury and it is made possible by other people expecting to be compensated for it, then simply do not go out to eat.  It is truly that simple.  If you don't care what servers, bartenders, busboys, and hostesses make, then simply do not go to establishments that employee them.  It's one thing to want to be supported and acknowledged for the job you do, it's another when you depend on it.

I am me and me is not perfect

   I am a certified people watcher, absolutely love to just watch people as they truly blow my mind for one reason or another.  Admitting that I am a people watcher, I must also admit that I am a certified card carrying member of the s#!+ talkers platinum society.  I realize that in my quest to be enlightened and enlighten others (especially females), that this behavior is contradictory.  I am constantly conflicted with trying to be above the norm and being my normal jokey self. 

  Do not mistake my being not only a member, but also the president of the s#!+ talkers platinum society as me being a bully in any way shape or form.  My s#!+ talking stems from observing people in their everyday ridiculousness.  I don't go out of my way to belittle or put people down, I simply comment on what is.  I don't walk up to random strangers and start tearing them apart, my observations are usually in my head or said to the person/people I'm with or talking to at the time. 

  While I do point out the ridiculousness that is many people walking around looking foolish, I also point out those who are the exact opposite as well as point out those exceptions to their face, as anyone who is on point should definitely be told they are doing a good job.  Some people may say this is talking behind people's backs....  I do not see it as this.  First off how can I talk behind someone's back who I do not know?  Second off if I know you and you fall into the category of ridiculousness, then I will most definitely make you aware of my opinion.  On the other hand, I would expect my friends to do the same, you can't call yourself a friend if you let me walk around looking crazy, sometimes we need an extra set of eyes to see what we don't or can't.

   I decided to write about this topic because I saw a meme that said something to the affect of-  if you know someone who is always talking about other people to you, then they're probably talking to other people about you.  The first thing I think is I'm truly stick of all these pseudo intellectual semi intellectual generalized classifications of every given situation.  The second thing I think is... stfu.  Lol...

   I've always said that it's human nature to make opinions of people at first glance, what's important is if you let those opinions influence your actual opinion of that person once and if you meet them....  what do you think? 

P.s
Hope you enjoy the graphic I made on my new note 2  ^.^

Somebody agree please!

Ok I just have to know, am I the only person obsessed with having to know what happens after we die?  Is that seriously morbid?  Should that thought, those thoughts not bother me and take as much time out of my life as it does?  I mean, think about it though, can you imagine not existing?  Just not being anymore??  What a crazy thought....  maybe it is just me....

FacePalm

  Well the inauguration was a couple of days ago and I thought it was just absolutely wonderful.  Everyone there just seemed genuinely happy and thankful to be there.  It was truly a moving speech that will forever be remembered.  It is a brilliantly awesome thing to have the President of the United States stand up for everybody, including women and LGBT in public form as he did.  There were a lot of unhappy people who were positively disgusted by the idea of this celebration happening, and that makes me sad to a point.  It's pretty amazing how people's true colors will show through when they feel threatened or get upset enough.

  First there was the "outrage" about the President's speech for the memorial of the Sandy Hook victims - *enter racist remarks here* - then during the inauguration erupted yet again - *enter death wishes here*.  Is it because of the overwhelming abundance of social media that has given people the power of anonymous courage?  Or is it just because of our new President, fueled by mob mentality, racism, and misinformation?  Whatever the reason, the trend is becoming frighteningly  more and more popular.

  Honestly it's scary. It's scary, sad, heartbreaking, unnerving, mind-boggling, etc., etc.....  I worry for my daughter and son for the world that they are being born into.  I fear that racism, prejudice, and hate are not going away as once thought, but at this point being spoon-fed to those most susceptible and then being taught to their children with the cycle continuing over and over.  People are advertising that they are starting communes to keep the rest of the country out of their lives? (WTF?)  It almost feels that with every step forward (electing a mixed President), we take 5 steps back (school shootings in abundance, people spouting assassinating the President is a good idea,etc...).  In the words of Susan Powter.....STOP THE MADNESS!!!  Let's get it together...together!

What's up with you?

  Soooo... just in case some of you incredible people weren't aware, I'd love to chat it up with you, hear your opinions and such, reach out to me on FB or Twitter:

FB-Mytoapf

@MYTOAPF


P.S.

Y'all have made my day once again!! I'm over 2000 views!! EEEEEEKKKKKK!!! :D

Django....part deux

  Sooooo I watched Django a few days ago and I gotta say, I liked it.  I can truly appreciate the story of a black slave being a hero.  Rising up from the ranks of being perceived as lower than a dog, getting educated, given a job, and being so in love that he's willing to risk his own life to save his wife.  After reading the reviews, and maybe I took them too literally, but I was really expecting NIGGER to be pretty much every other word.  But I refused to go into the movie with negative feelings about it, (not really me to judge something based on hearsay, anyway), and I watched the movie as I would watch any movie....as if it were a movie.  I enjoyed Christoph Waltz's character and loved that it was so different, unexpected and refreshing.  So he had me liking the movie right from the start, I got a kick out of how dramatic Jamie Foxx's Django was.  Knowing that this was a Quentin Tarantino film, I expected the movie to have the dramatic flair, over the top gun battles, etc, etc....  By the end of the movie I kept wondering about the "excessive use of NIGGER" that I kept hearing about.  I must be the only one I know who didn't think that this was the case.  I can honestly say that I did not pick up on it.  Perhaps I am desensitized?  Or perhaps I just don't care?  Or perhaps it just doesn't matter to me, especially since the movie is about slavery.  I wouldn't really expect anyone in the film to be referring to Django as sir or gentleman.  When I think about it, I can remember the women in "The Help" being called NIGRA more than all the NIGGERS being mentioned in Django.  

  Call me blind, call me oblivious, but I just can't find fault in a film where a black slave is a hero!  The word NIGGER holds only as much weight as people give it.  Do I think it is ok for people to go around calling black people NIGGER or NEGRO? No.  Have I been called a NIGGER? Yes.  Was it shocking and uncalled for?  Of course.  In the grand scheme of things...does it really matter how many times the word is said...in...a movie?  Not really.  At the end of the day, all the buzz centered around this whole NIGGER debacle has just increased sales for the movie,  because that's how the entertainment industry works.  You don't get ahead by playing it safe or catering to the sensitive crowd, you make strides by making waves.  It just seems that sometimes people try so hard to find fault in something that they refuse to see the point, which can be good.  How many black heros do we have in the movies?  Not many.  I'm not a movie critic and I never could be or would want to be, because you have to be critical and I could never spend all my time constantly wanting or having to be critical of everything I watch all the time.  

  I suppose I just choose my battles with a little more caution.  The movie was good, I enjoyed all of it, perhaps we should stop putting so much stock in words and concentrate on actual actions, actions by real live people, in real life, and stop worrying so much about things like movies that aren't real, just a thought.  Put all that energy into things that really matter.

Have You Ever....

  Have you ever looked at someone and their life and thought:  WTF is wrong with you?  Why are you making so many bad choices?  Why are you putting yourself though so much for nothing?  How could you be doing the things you're doing wearing the clothes you're wearing, hanging out with the people you're hanging out with?  Or how about this, has someone ever come to you with a problem they're having and you're response is:  I'd never do something like that, I'd never put myself in that situation, I'd never make that choice and you shouldn't do that either....

  At the end of the day, if you really think about it, can you actually say those things?  Can you actually look back at your life and say you've never put yourself in undesirable situations, made stupid choices hung out with the wrong people, let yourself be influenced in the wrong direction, worn questionable clothing, etc. Etc....?  I think about the countless times people have come to me asking for advice and I give them impeccable words of wisdom, but I realize that I am a serious case of not practicing what I preach.  How irritating it is be able to see things so clearly in regards to other people, yet be so blind when it comes to myself... well blind and stubborn I suppose..

Story of a Not-So-ABW

  It has come to my attention that most of my blog posts may come off a bit "angry", I was jokingly called an ABW - Angry Black Woman, which is the farthest thing from the truth.  I am actually more of a pretty hysterical (in my opinion), strong willed, goofy, sometimes ditzy, laid back kinda chick.  To prove how much I am NOT an ABW, I am going to share a story with you.  Let's call it: The tale of the oblivious:

  When my first born son was around 1 years old, I used to work at a convenience store overnight by myself.  I didn't mind, I was very used to being up all night anyway, plus I got to work by myself and that meant no other people to get on my nerves or in my way.  This one morning towards the end of my shift, I was dealing with my usual morning rush of customers.  Everything was going pretty smoothly, I was joking around with the customers, blah blah blah, when while I had a line of people at the register, this young man rode up shirtless on his bike.  Like all convenience stores, they have certain rules about charging for cups for water, the water is free, but the cup is not.  Well, the gentleman came in, upper torso fully tatted, and asked for a cup of water.  I explained to him, while still checking out customers, that he would have to pay for the cup.  I never thought about it, but the customers kept staring at him and were moving very slowly.  The gentleman did not take my news about paying 50 cents for the paper cut, lightly.
   He made it vocally known that he did not care for this policy of paying for a cup and went into a tirade of yelling and screaming at me about this policy.  I was watching him, but I wasn't really listening, but he was going off!  Luckily he was walking out of the store as he was performing his show.  Once he got outside, he continued he tantrum of cursing and yelling and giving me the finger as he got his bike and walked it back to the street slowly and continued his journey. While we all stood in the store kind of chuckling about the events that had transpired, the current customer I was ringing up looked at me with a strange look in his eye and asked me if I was worried?  I scoffed a bit and asked why would I be worried?  He then asked me if I had seen the swastika and white pride tattoos he had all over his body.  :O  WHAT?! I looked out the window to see if I could still see the disgruntled bike man and sure enough he was still trekkin down the street...slowly....looking back at me..
  It was then that I realized that maybe working by myself everyday isn't the best thing in the world anymore, lol.  At this point all of the customers were looking at me, a bit concerned, I guess waiting to see if I would kick them all out, lock the doors, call the cops, and resort to the fetal position in the corner.  I did what any other sane person would do I suppose... I just laughed nervously with my eyes darting back and forth from the door to the register and make silly jokes like, well I hope he isn't riding his bike to his White Pride hangout to get his buddies or worse to get 50 cents..ha ha ha..  Thankfully the guy never came back, but I did watch the door for the rest of my shift and constantly looked over my shoulder as I walked home.

  Well....now that I've told that story, I have no idea how that proves I'm not an ABW, but it helps to know that I did not snap my fingers, roll my neck or my eyes during that whole situation!  I didn't get angry at all during that entire time just more confused and amused (at first) than anything.

Ouch...

  Today was an extremely rough day for me.  I have chronic daily migraines and some of that is attributed to a condition called pseudotumor cerebri and the rest is attributed to who knows what.  Pseudotumor cerebri basically means that the fluid that circulates around most people's skulls, kinda just collects at the base of my brainstem and that then creates pressure and pain.  The way for this pressure to be relieved is by having a spinal tap, where they take a long needle and insert it into my back to relieve the pressure that has built up by removing the excess fluid (extremely painful).  After the procedure I am then required to lay on my back as still as possible for about 4 hours or so to attempt avoiding a headache.  If a headache should occur then another procedure may be necessary called a blood patch.  This is basically the same thing from the viewpoint of the patient, but the pressure that is created has a tendency to be much more intense.  The doctors take your blood and attempt to basically fill in some of the fluid that was removed.

  The condition that I have is managed by water pills that I take every single day morning, afternoon, and night.  The water pills are used to regulate my fluid so that a lumbar puncture is less likely to be needed.  The pressure from my condition can also cause vision problems as the pressure can build up behind one's eyes, so that has to be checked from time to time.  The worst part about having chronic migraines is that it is truly chronic and daily.  I have a migraine about 4-5 days out of each week, each ranging in severity.  Thankfully I am working at a job where I have great insurance and I pretty much live at the doctor so I have been able to try as many different solutions as possible and I have tried EVERYTHING.  Everything including locking myself in a dark room, taking excessive amounts of OTC medicine which is not healthy, bouncing from doctor to neurologist to doctor to specialist..  Life is hard with daily migraines, having head pain is serious and not fun, especially with a daily job, fiancee, children, and other responsibilities.  Sympathy is never the intended goal when telling someone about my migraines, because I know I'll live and get over it.

  I'm sharing this with you because headaches do not affect a small percentage of people, they affect many, many people and are serious.  I want others to know that you are not alone.  While it's possible to keep on truckin and do the day to day with a migraine, sometimes it is so bad that that's not an option.  Sometimes migraines are so debilitating that it's hard to function.  I have been dealing with my migraines for 10 plus years now and have talked to many different doctors and neurologists, tried many different treatment options and sometimes it's rough to go down this road alone.  People who have never actually had a migraine can sympathize and empathize, but they will never truly know the pain migraine sufferers go through.  I created a Facebook page for fellow migraine sufferers, Go Here , to hopefully open the door for other people who suffer what I suffer from and to offer a platform for other people to sound off and give treatment suggestions.  The most important thing to me with my migraines is to always smile through the pain, I will never allow the pain I'm going through to cause people to think I'm weak or incapable.  The pain I'm in may bring me to tears, but those tears can be wiped away and I'll still be there just as strong as ever ready for whatever life has for me and vice versa, just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm not in pain.

Do As I Say....Or Vice Versa?

  I got into a discussion at work awhile ago regarding the influences we play and should play in our children's lives.  Me, personally, am old school.  I tend to lean more towards the parenting ways of my mother and hers before, etc.. That includes Do as I say, not as I do.  The debate that started was that I was pretty much the only one with that viewpoint, just about everybody else was very much on the side of do as I do.  The reasons for this stance is very understandable, children will watch and want to imitate those that they are influenced the most by, so therefore it is the parent's job to set a good example in all that they do.  I was raised a bit differently, we were told to do as our parents and elders said, not what they do and this makes the most sense to me, here is why:

  Our jobs as parents is to lead and teach our children,give them the tools to succeed, teach them to be leaders and do good in life.  Our jobs as parents are to be the adults while they are the children, it is not ok to let our children curse, be subjected to violence or feel threatened.  It is not ok to allow our children to disrespect us or other people or do as they please whenever they want.  It is our job as parents to be adults and let them be children, to establish that we as parents make the rules and children are to follow them accordingly.  It is our job as parents to draw the line for our children and make sure that they know and understand that line.  Being the parent, I will not allow my child to curse because they happen to hear me curse.  I will not tolerate my child telling me that I am invading their space or infringing on their privacy, because they are children and they don't need privacy, as the parent I need to know what is going on.

  As a parent I feel that it is my job to do what is best for the children I gave birth to, because that is the responsibility I took on when I got pregnant and I take that job extremely personal.  I don't care if my children hate me, that is none of my concern.  What is my concern is making sure that they are safe, healthy, educated, and prepared for the world around them.  I don't expect my child to tell me that they did something and it should be ok, because I did it when I was young.  You did it so I should be able to do it does not fly in the real world and it will definitely not fly in my household.  Have your own mind, be your own person, and take the knowledge and tools I am providing you to make that happen.  Am I a hypocrite?  When it comes to raising a child....basically anyone else's opinion is null and void?  What do you think?

Woo-Hoo!

So Excited!!! Y'all are awesome!!! ♥ Thank you, thank you, thank youuuuu!!!!♥

You're SO right, but not really...

  I'm back and rip rarin to go!  The below picture is a picture I have seen floating around FB for a couple days now and it is infuriating!  I have been seeing and hearing so much about how the President has ruined people's lives and blah blah blah.  Mind you this is mostly online...from people's facebook pages...  What I don't understand is if you're so bad off as you claim, how are you able to be online?  When I was doing bad, I didn't have a computer, let alone internet service and if I needed to use the computer so bad then I wouldn't go to the library to rant and rave on FB..(I'd use it to look for a job).  But I digress, this picture is just ridiculous for so many reasons..  First of all, eating out in itself is a luxury, people are going through hard times don't go out to eat, it's very costly to do so.

  When you go out to eat there is some give and take that should happen, you sit, enjoy your meal and drinks, and other people take care of everything else for you.  The people who take care of everything for you, don't work for free (close to it) but not for free.  Servers make less than 5 dollars an hour which means they rely on the patrons tips for their services to make ends meet.  Depending on where you go, those tips are sometimes split between the other people that take care of everything for you including, but not limited to the hostesses, bussers, and bartenders.  If you go out to eat and then claim that you don't have enough to tip, then you shouldn't go out to eat.  If you go out to eat and then claim that you REFUSE to tip due to some ridiculous cop-out in order to make a point, then you are an ASS.  You're contradicting yourself at every turn!  You would rather use the money you could use to tip your server to make stupid cards?  You claim you've been robbed by the President so you're going to essentially do to someone else what you claim is being done to you?!  How dare people be so self-righteous?  How dare you claim to be a victim when everything you have done up to this point has shown the exact opposite?  I served in restaurants for over 10 years and if somebody left this card on my table, then I would lose my job that night due to the choice words I would have for said patron.  Then to say you wish it didn't have to be this way...for BOTH OF US?!

Through the pain....

  Happy New Year!!! again, lol.  I have a forceful migraine that is pushing me almost toward tears, but a goal I have made for myself is to do my best to push through things that are a constant.  I've had migraines for years, it's time to stop letting them wear me down, so I will blog through the pain.  Woo!  Enough of my personal cheerleading, the reason I decided to blog today is because I saw a graphic today, (pictured below), that is something I have said for years.  Why is it that my black community does not see this to be true?  Why is it that this reality does not blow their minds as it does mine?  Why are we so self destructive and blind to it at the same time?  It boggles my mind to see some people get so upset about what other people are doing but refuse to see the giant problem right in our face?  I saw something at the doctor's office today that was so disheartening and embarrassing at the same time.  3 young children dropped off at the doctor's office to fend for themselves, the oldest being no more than 13.  When the nurse was trying to get the information from the children, they just sat silent until about the 4th time of her mentioning it, when the oldest little girl, rudely told her that they cannot fill out the paperwork because they didn't know how, their mother wasn't there.  There are so many things wrong with that picture, that it just doesn't make sense.  The kids eventually ended up leaving, I have no idea where they went when they left the office.

  I wonder now if I should have done something, stepped in to make sure that they were not just going to be walking miles to home or something.  Then I think, what could I have done?  The little girl clearly had attitude for days, and most likely would not have allowed me to help them and would have pissed me off in the process with her attitude.  I just feel sorry for those kids, obviously pretty much raising themselves, I almost wonder if the little girl was the one who took the initiative to make the appointment to begin with.  I just want better for us as a whole, I want there to be more positiveness and less "woe is me, whatever" type attitude.   I want their to be a sense of pride throughout for every child.  I want the thought of killing your brother not to be an option.  I want the need to be "hard" to be less about being cold and more about being an actual man. I want others to have the wants that I have.

  How do we encourage a whole generation to be better adjusted, better educated, want to be prosperous?  It takes us all that's how, we just have to do better.  It can be done.  We can't get mad at how others perceive us if we clearly have no respect for ourselves.