Another note to whoever (1 million moms)

Dear 1 million moms,

I'd first like to applaud you on your over zealous title, seeing that you have still not even come close to 1 million likes, even though you began your warped mission in May of 2009.  I also wonder why you did not choose the title 1 million parents because I am sure there are men out there who share your obscure view on how to better the world.  Surely your blatant discrimination of men could have helped up your numbers a bit?  I scrolled through your fb page (as much as I could stomach) and what I get is that perhaps you're watching too much TV.  Maybe your cause as moms would be more helpful if you focused on making children's lives better as opposed to bullying other people for living theirs?  Perhaps your mission as moms would make more sense if you taught your children how to love everyone or at the very least, respect everyone for their differences.  As a mother, it is truly sad to see a bunch of women who think they are holier than thou, try to bully anyone who they seem to think is challenging them and their "family values".  Forget television, companies, the gay community, etc. ..what kind of example are YOU setting with your actions?  Do you tell your children it's ok to bully other children if they are different?  Do you plot with them when they decide to go after a classmate?  As a mother, here's some motherly advice:
1) mind your own business
2) God makes no mistakes (even though you and your Christianness think he does)
3) when you point your finger at someone, you have 3 fingers pointing back at you.
4) the golden rule that we are taught in kindergarten, treat everyone as you would like to be treated.
5) turn off the TV and read a book.
6) nobody likes a tattletale.
7) life is much easier when you look for the good and not the bad.

If your goal was to truly enlighten people to what was wrong with this country, first you should start with yourself, then you should realize that what you've been campaigning against are the LEAST of anyone's problems.

My Note to Whoever....(starting with A&F)

    Recently I read a very cute note written to Abercrombie and Fitch, written by a self-proclaimed "fat girl".  It got me to thinking, why don't we write notes to everyone who has pissed us off for some reason or another, whether it be big companies or celebrities or random people we run into everyday.  So here are my notes to whoever:

   Dear Mr. CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch,
How dare you think you are above anyone in anyway considering the picture I have found of you.  I had to do double research to determine if you were the one on the right or the left.  It is people like you, with your imaginary sense of prettiness that actually negates your so called cool and popular kid status.  Considering you're at least 60 years old (I'm guessing from the pictures I've seen), it's quite alarming that you are even worried about the popular or cool crowd anymore.  I imagine you were an outcast when you were in high school, so then you grew up and got a lot of money, which you then thought made you pretty and cool... I am here to tell you that your money has not made you pretty or cool.  It's so sad to see a grown man still trying to live life as though he were in high school, I pity you.  As far as your clothes and stores go..  Well, everything you sell is "vanilla", because I have honestly not seen anyone wear anything from Abercrombie and Fitch, with the exclusion of the extremely vanilla everyday, pretty lame shirt that says A&F (a shirt that I see most people throw on to run to the store, probably wal-mart, or to do yardwork, because they don't want to ruin their good clothes), since..... who knows when.  Although I do have to give you kudos for your loyal sheep-like customers, I can remember once, a very, very long time ago, going shopping with a friend.  This friend demanded that we stop at A&F, just to look around, I say demanded, because I did NOT want to go into what appeared to be extremely depressing and delusional store, not to mention the choking perfume or cologne that was wafting out of there so heavily, like desperation spewing from a 60 year old man's mouth as he talks about only wanting to appeal to high schoolers.  In the end, we walked around pretentious 'R' us, and ended up leaving without her buying anything, of course.  Later on that night, we ended up at some kid's party and wouldn't you know, there was a girl there wearing the EXACT same outfit as one of the mannequins at your store!  I couldn't believe it, I was totally mortified that this chick had no sense of originality at all, I literally saw her and had my jaw drop out of disbelief.  This girl then became the drunk belligerent girl who, by the end of the night was hanging on every male at the party...so sad, but not surprising.  I know your words are from a couple years ago, so why don't you do us all a favor and

EVOLVE!

The Hypocrisy and Other Things.....

   Recently one part of the Kriss Kross duo passed away.  He had been in the media a few years ago due to a picture he took with a fan that did not show him or his hair in the greatest light.  The result of that picture was the same as the result of any picture or story that is "celebrity" related.  People made assumptions and the rumors and sh!t talking began.  An editor of some magazine or something wrote up a story about it and suggested that we end "celebrity" bullying.  I heard about this story on a satellite radio station while driving home from work.  I thought it was interesting that this DJ was so adamant about agreeing to end "celebrity" bullying when, whenever I forget to change the channel from hearing these people talk about nonsense, I listen to all of these DJs indulging in "celebrity" gossip and judging this person and that person because of what they wore, how their hair was, who they were with, blah blah blah.  It's so easy for people to jump on the bandwagon of an idea that sounds so noble and catchy, but how do they not realize that they are, in fact, talking about themselves?  I mean, the audacity of someone standing on their soapbox to talk down to others to tell them what THEY should be doing, when they are the biggest perpetrators of said doings.  You may be wondering why I keep putting celebrity in quotation marks... The reason I am doing this is because the people who are being talked about do include actual celebrities such as actors, actresses, singers, etc., but they also include reality stars who are famous simply for being dramatic and ridiculous and therefore I do not see them as celebrities but faux celebrities.  There is an increasingly growing trend of obnoxious people having their every move watched and documented as if they are of some importance.  It's bad enough that because some actress or singer checks into some rehab, it's considered Breaking News, now we're adding these people clinging to their last 2 minutes of fame into the mix.
 
    I'm sure I'm coming off as sounding hateful or mean, but... who cares?!  I love movies and music and TV just as much as the next person, if not more, but what these people wear, date, eat.... is not important.  It doesn't affect me at all and therefore is not news.  I have found myself a little resentful at the money these people make sometimes, especially the young stars, but in the end you really can't knock their hustle, good for them.  I saw a meme online with Jada Pinkett talking on a panel regarding some issue and all the comments where: "she makes millions of dollars, who cares what she has to say?"  Or "She leads a life of luxury, what does she know about the average person?"  If someone is using their celebrity to stand up for a cause, then shut the hell up!?  Disregarding someone because they make a lot of money is the same as disregarding someone because they have no money.  America is in serious trouble with no signs of getting better and it is truly scary.

     It's amazing how many people consider themselves the end all be all of opinions when it comes to anything, especially when they go online.  Granted, I realize I could be put into this category myself, but...who really cares?!  If more people started worrying about themselves and their own family, imagine the possibilities!  In the immortal words of the little girl in the video below....

WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF!

Oh the horror. ...

    Recently an article from Sports Illustrated detailing an interview done with Jason Collins, who plays professional basketball, and about him coming out to the public as homosexual was posted on Tom Joyner's Facebook fan page. To say that the comments were disappointing, would be an understatement. I hate that the black community is not willing to progress. I hate that hate is the forefront of most opinions. Hate = fear + ignorance. So don't tell me it's an abomination or against God's will. How can you even use the same argument as the kkk with a straight face? It's disappointing and saddening to see that so many share such a hateful view of others. I consider myself to be a God fearing woman who loves Jesus and praises his name everyday, but I choose to go with the positive messages like love one another, judge not lest ye be judged and the lesser known mind your business. Don't quote me on that last one. Black people are so quick to quote Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr when it applies to race, but do they realize his messages included everybody. ... even the lgbt community? We gotta do better, growing is a good thing, let's all grow together and pass it onto our children. ..

A Day in the life of a sufferer...

       Wake up- another beautiful day... Oh wait not that beautiful. ..I have a migraine.  Sit up take 2 of 4 of my daily preventive pills and throw in a few advil to take the edge off of this jackhammer going off in my brain.  Into my child's room to wake them up for school, because I wake up much earlier than necessary to give them more time to stall getting ready. Take a shower, it's quite the task when you can't lean over because you know that will take this migraine from a 7 to a 20, but careful to also not turn too quickly or that way or this way for too long either. Survived the shower, now onto making sure the little one is getting ready. Oh good, she wants to fight about the time because she's tired. .. Ok no need to overreact because your head is exploding, try to be comforting so the situation doesn't get out of hand, I'm sure she won't notice you talking with your teeth bared.
      Getting on the road-Ok we're in the car, only 5 minutes behind, not bad, could be worse. Great, the school bus obviously doesn't see my huge SUV speeding down the road and that's why they chose to jump in front of me, cutting me off, and going 20 miles an hour. .. the same speed as the person next to them! Ok well at least I made it to the daycare to drop off my mini me, think it's time to pop some of the hard stuff. ...better make it two, hopefully that'll stop the tiny fairy from stabbing my skull. Oh yay traffic and more being cut off, well at least now I can add people nearly hitting me and going insanely slow and randomly braking because they're obviously texting. .. but who could they be texting at 730 in the morning I wonder?
     Starting the work day- Well I made it to work, 2 victories down. (The first one was dropping off my child, in case you forgot)  Thanks to traffic I still have 3 minutes to get inside. Thanks traffic! Ahhhh the lovely sounds of loud children, dogs barking, and insanely opinionated television sets in the background of all my calls, that medicine can kick in at anytime.... Oh this wasn't done right and this is the first time I've seen it and talked to you about it? Well, by all means, please feel free to scream and berate me for the issue. Well the medicine kicked in, but not enough to ease the pulsating drum behind me eyes, so I'm going to have to call it a day and go home.
    Back home- Another day not fully worked, how am I ever going to catch up with my bills? Staring at this computer screen trying to finish my homework feels like staring straight into a light bulb. Wow look at the time, and all I've accomplished is one sentence. I'll try again after I pick up my daughter.
      Bed time-I'm so excited to go to sleep, helping a 1st grader with homework should not be so difficult. Good thing she enjoys hot dogs so much, I'll try to cook tomorrow.  Guess I'll have to try to do my homework tomorrow as well.  I want to watch tv with my husband but it seems so loud and bright! Oh the volume is on 5? Well I'll just close my eyes and slowly turn over because this position is killing me and if I turn over too fast I'm likely to throw up because my head says so. But, before I close my eyes I'm just gonna take my other preventative meds and pop a couple more advil to try and quell the freightliner doing donuts in my brain.
       Good night.

  Luckily everyday is not like this, but unfortunately many are and some are even worse. Suffering from excessive migraines is extremely tough because it's very hard to find out why.  Everybody has triggers, but not everybody is blessed enough to know what those triggers are.

Now I understand....

  When I was younger I told my mother that I never wanted to have kids or even get married.... EVER!  I stood by that thinking for quite awhile into my 20s... and then came along my beautiful baby boy and all of my feelings changed regarding having children.. (still had to get my mind wrapped around getting married).  Now, 2 kids, a fiancee, and many years later I am starting to think that maybe I had that outlook because somehow I knew how scary this world was going to be.....  The biggest concerns I used to have about my children were being bullied, being clumsy enough to hurt themselves seriously, eating the right things, possibly being kidnapped or getting molested... While those things are still incredibly scary and constantly on my mind, I now have "other" issues that I must add to that list.  I now live in fear that with each phone call I am getting and not getting could mean my children might be facing some crazy person with a gun or a bomb threat at their school.  Watching the news is horrifying and almost at this point it's sad that the headline "gunman... blah blah blah" is pretty much "the norm".  It's amazing that this world that can be such a beautiful and magnificent place can also be so terrifyingly scary to the point of thinking about it all brings one to tears.  I am scared of the world my children are growing up in.  My heart goes out to Baltimore this evening, such a tragedy that shouldn't have happened......

Parent Win.....then.....Parent Fail...

  Yesterday I had a couple different experiences with people.  The first experience was positive, made my heart smile.  While at the pizza shop, I walked up to the counter to place my order and when I was done, I turned to go sit down and wait.  There were 3 chairs that lined that wall in the tiny building and 2 of those were taken by a woman and her son.  I told my mini me to sit in the remaining chair and I stood by the wall.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw the woman talking and motioning to her son and then he stood up.  The woman moved to the farthest seat away and told me to have a seat.  I was astonished, as you don't see that very often nowadays.  There have been many numerous times when I have had to stand while grown men would sit and not offer their seat.  I told the mother and son thank you and she told me she was trying to teach him young.  I happily exclaimed that I was doing the same with my son, making sure he holds the door for people and such as well.  We laughed a bit and I told him that it would pay off in the end!  When they were leaving I made sure to tell her that she was a good mother.  That encounter completely made my day and restored a bit of faith in humanity for me...... that is until I went to the movies later that night......


   My fiancee and I went to go see Evil Dead, I was very excited because I loved the first one so much, even though I had heard it wouldn't be campy at all, I had to see it, just to see it.  We got to the theater, bought our tickets and started to head in.  My fiancee had to use the bathroom, so I went into the theater, which was right next to the bathroom.  There was a man standing in front of the doors who asked to see my ticket..I thought that was odd, but showed him anyway and he said he'd remember my man for when he finished doing his business and I went in to get a seat.  We always sit in the very back at the top, because we don't like people behind us.  As I was approaching the top row, I noticed the first 2 people sitting at the very end of the row at the top of the stairs was an older woman and a little boy, probably around the age of 8, maybe 9.  I couldn't believe that this child was in here for this movie, let alone being brought by his mother!  Maybe it was his aunt, grandmother, whoever she was, she was old enough to know better.  I stepped past them with an "excuse me" and sat a few seats away.  When I looked to my right after sitting down, I noticed the 2 people sitting closest to me were 2 young little girls, I'm sorry, 2 young TALKATIVE little girls.  They couldn't have been more than 13, maybe 12.  I thought my mind was going to explode at the obvious disregard for these children.  I'm not the best parent in the world and I consider myself to be pretty lax about most things, but come on!  After sitting next to the 2 most annoying out of place children in the world, I decided I had had enough and instead of unleashing on them like I wanted to, I simply chose to move away to new seats. (Very proud of myself for that)  Not only were these little girls in a movie totally inappropriate for their age group, but they clearly had no respect for other people with all of the noise they were making.


   After the movie, a family of 3 passed by us going down the aisle, the mother, father, and their 6 year old son.  I don't understand this phenomenon.  Why is it ok to take young children to such graphic movies?  What are these parents achieving by allowing this?  Am I the one who is crazy to think that this is not ok?  Who knows, maybe it is just me.  Maybe it is just me who thinks that subjecting such young and impressionable minds to such gore is not the appropriate thing to do.  Maybe it's just me who thinks that we should be surrounding children with positive images and educational aspects of life and show them the benefits of being kind, gracious, and things alike.  While I'm all about giving kids the reality of life, I don't find anything from Evil Dead to be any kind of reality.

What do you think?

This is life. .. for some. ..

Everyday I wake up, I know who I am. .I am a black woman living in America.  This concept seems simple enough to me and not a big deal.  I go to work, deal with my issues, take care of my bills and my family. .. normal things?  I grew up extremely naive of the world as a military brat around white people most of my young life.  I was never truly privy to the hate that people had towards people like me, it was never an issue.  Anybody who did have an issue never made it known to me.

    As an adult I am seeing everyday just how naive I was.  With the election my eyes have been opened even more so and it sucks.  I'm never one to judge someone based on superficial reasons.  I judge you according to how you act, not your gender, race, age, or anything else that doesn't necessarily make a person be this way or that.  I also know that there are plenty people in the world who are also this way, but it's pretty annoying to see these blogs.. such as "stuff black people don't like" where hatred is the common denominator.  People that are commenting are teachers. .. and that's scary! Not only teachers are commenting, I'm just saying....  I've never considered myself a cynical person, but being slapped in the face with such a reality is definitely cause to see things with more of a fine tooth comb.  With every skipped over opportunities and attitude given,  I not only have to look at myself and ask what did I do wrong, I also have to ask if it's possible that I just wasn't the preferred race.  I not only have to reexamine these things in regards to me but my children as well. 

  It's a hard truth to swallow knowing that no matter how intelligent, qualified, or experienced that I am or my children are. ... the only qualifications that will matter are our beautiful skin tone and preconceived notions that go along with it. People ask me why do I look at things like that blog. ...I tell them that I have to be informed about things going on around me, not so much for me but for my children. .. it would be irresponsible for me not to be aware of these things.  I don't go searching for these hateful things, but with the increase of technology and social media. .. It gives everyone the opportunity to show their ass, figuratively and literally lol.  It's hard being the best person you can be but denied common decency because of ignorance.  There have been many occasions where I have dealt with people and it was obvious that they felt they were entitled to being treated better than I was when they didn't even know me.  I often wonder where does this feeling of entitlement come from? Why do people feel that they are the exception to the rules because they are them?  Why do they feel that I am not worthy because they are them? And why do they feel that they should not be called on it? How can you get mad at someone for calling you out on your actions? You mean you're mad because I'm mad that you're out of line. ..you're mad that I'm mad with you????

   Do I think racism will ever go away? Not likely, hate begets hate and very rarely does it beget courage to overcome it.  The best I can do is educate mine and try to spread that knowledge and be as aware as possible.  To the people on that blog and blogs and mindsets alike I say. .. God bless you all.

D W B

   I recently upgraded my old Honda civic to a brand spanking new Dodge Durango.  I have driven this truck to and from work everyday since then as well as other places, but I had an experience that I had only heard about or witnessed from the sidelines up until then.  On one particularly non special morning I was driving to work.  It was very early in the morning, before seven.

    I drove the same route I always drive in the same hurried fashion that I keep trying to break myself of, all while talking to my fiancé on my cool new car blue tooth function.  Driving down the road going 5, possibly 10 miles over the speed limit (not sure because I always get the speed limit wrong by like 5 miles on that road since it's usually a caravan of people driving in a giant cluster).  On this particular morning I happened to be pretty much alone going down the street when I could see the light turning yellow.  I started slowing down and as I got closer to the light I noticed a cop car to the right, kinda hiding behind some large trees.  By the time I was able to see him I was going pretty slow in order to stop at the light.  I passed him and I stopped very shortly afterwards at the light.  After a few moments he pulled out behind me.

   I didn't think anything of it, but then the light turned green and his lights started flashing!  I couldn't believe I was getting pulled over!  I knew I hadn't done anything wrong so I waited for him to walk up to my window with my fiancé patiently waiting as well on the bluetooth.  The officer reached my window and the first question out of his mouth was: "is this your car?"  It was such an unexpected question that I actually had to think about it for a second.  I told him yes of course this is my car!  After a bit of back and forth about what speed I was going (he didn't even know the speed limit either), I eventually have him the information he requested.  I watched him take my paperwork and license to the back of my car and join 2 other cops who were suddenly back there.

   As my fiancé and I began talking about what happened I kept my eyes on the gaggle of hens in my rearview mirror.  We discussed how ridiculous it was for him to ask me that and I began getting extremely irritated as the reality of the situation began to sink in.  My irritation grew to anger as I watched the 3 cluckers stand behind me laughing and talking while wasting my time in the process.  With my anger came assumptions as to what was so funny to the 3 white officers who obviously racial profiled me and were now probably making racist jokes at my expense.  The cop finally came back, handed me my information and told me snottily to watch my speed and something else I think,  I was still preoccupied by what had just happened.  My fiancé says I should have gotten his badge number but I explained that I was in too much shock to even think of that.

    That experience was a first for me as far as directly in my face type of racism that I noticed. I've heard stories about people being racially profiled,  but never actually had it happen until then.  It was a reality check of epic proportions about the underlined feelings that are still prevalent today.  I know the situation could have been worse and I thank God it wasn't,  but I will never forget the events of that day. It reminds me of that song by Kanye West, All Falls Down: "Even if you're in a Benz, you're still a nigger in a coupe."
 

My fiancee says the craziest things...

    One day my fiancee and I were leaving a discount store and when we got to the corner, there was a homeless couple. The man was holding the sign and the woman was sitting down. My finance looked at me and said, look where we're at! We're not at some high end store,we're leaving the poor people store. Why do homeless people beg from poor people?  We're barely a step above them, that doesn't even make sense!

   Personally I thought this to be hilarious, true and hilarious.  Don't get me wrong, my fiancee, although brutally honest and sometimes extremely mean, he would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it.  It does make me wonder though, you never truly know the backstory of what people went through or are going through. It's hard out for everybody, living paycheck to paycheck, struggling to pay bills and still trying to come up in life.  So of course it's hard to see people who are worse off. I couldn't imagine not having anybody in this world to help me out when I need it.

   It's an annoying internal debate to want to help every lost soul in the world you encounter, but know that you can't because you have to provide for your own first. For me, I think the worst thing we can do as parents is not be the strength our children need so I absolutely hate to see people panhandling with their kids in tow. One time I was coming out of a store at like 11 pm on a Tuesday night and this woman approached me with her obviously embarrassed daughter pulling up the rear. The woman was telling me how they had no food to eat, no diapers for her baby, etc etc. I kept glancing at her daughter who was probably no more than 9 or 10 and you could tell she was mortified. I didn't get the impression that she was sad because of what her mother was saying, I got the feeling that she was desperately trying to telepathically teleport herself far, far away. The mother was acting in a manner such as that of an addict, grinding her teeth and not able to stand still, so I could only imagine the real reason for the begging.

  At the end of the day though I'll never know what was really going on or how that poor child was actually feeling. I didn't have any change so I couldn't help her, but I imagine that someone that hard up should be asking for food and not money. I couldn't imagine putting my children through that, being that type of influence for them. I understand that children loosen the heart strings, but come on now.....    But alas that is only my opinion looking in from the outside. But when I was down and out, which I have been a couple times, the thought of putting that burden on my children never entered my head....