Tuesday, May 14, 2013

My Note to Whoever....(starting with A&F)

    Recently I read a very cute note written to Abercrombie and Fitch, written by a self-proclaimed "fat girl".  It got me to thinking, why don't we write notes to everyone who has pissed us off for some reason or another, whether it be big companies or celebrities or random people we run into everyday.  So here are my notes to whoever:

   Dear Mr. CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch,
How dare you think you are above anyone in anyway considering the picture I have found of you.  I had to do double research to determine if you were the one on the right or the left.  It is people like you, with your imaginary sense of prettiness that actually negates your so called cool and popular kid status.  Considering you're at least 60 years old (I'm guessing from the pictures I've seen), it's quite alarming that you are even worried about the popular or cool crowd anymore.  I imagine you were an outcast when you were in high school, so then you grew up and got a lot of money, which you then thought made you pretty and cool... I am here to tell you that your money has not made you pretty or cool.  It's so sad to see a grown man still trying to live life as though he were in high school, I pity you.  As far as your clothes and stores go..  Well, everything you sell is "vanilla", because I have honestly not seen anyone wear anything from Abercrombie and Fitch, with the exclusion of the extremely vanilla everyday, pretty lame shirt that says A&F (a shirt that I see most people throw on to run to the store, probably wal-mart, or to do yardwork, because they don't want to ruin their good clothes), since..... who knows when.  Although I do have to give you kudos for your loyal sheep-like customers, I can remember once, a very, very long time ago, going shopping with a friend.  This friend demanded that we stop at A&F, just to look around, I say demanded, because I did NOT want to go into what appeared to be extremely depressing and delusional store, not to mention the choking perfume or cologne that was wafting out of there so heavily, like desperation spewing from a 60 year old man's mouth as he talks about only wanting to appeal to high schoolers.  In the end, we walked around pretentious 'R' us, and ended up leaving without her buying anything, of course.  Later on that night, we ended up at some kid's party and wouldn't you know, there was a girl there wearing the EXACT same outfit as one of the mannequins at your store!  I couldn't believe it, I was totally mortified that this chick had no sense of originality at all, I literally saw her and had my jaw drop out of disbelief.  This girl then became the drunk belligerent girl who, by the end of the night was hanging on every male at the party...so sad, but not surprising.  I know your words are from a couple years ago, so why don't you do us all a favor and

No comments:

Post a Comment