Ok I just have to know, am I the only person obsessed with having to know what happens after we die? Is that seriously morbid? Should that thought, those thoughts not bother me and take as much time out of my life as it does? I mean, think about it though, can you imagine not existing? Just not being anymore?? What a crazy thought.... maybe it is just me....
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
First there was the "outrage" about the President's speech for the memorial of the Sandy Hook victims - *enter racist remarks here* - then during the inauguration erupted yet again - *enter death wishes here*. Is it because of the overwhelming abundance of social media that has given people the power of anonymous courage? Or is it just because of our new President, fueled by mob mentality, racism, and misinformation? Whatever the reason, the trend is becoming frighteningly more and more popular.
Honestly it's scary. It's scary, sad, heartbreaking, unnerving, mind-boggling, etc., etc..... I worry for my daughter and son for the world that they are being born into. I fear that racism, prejudice, and hate are not going away as once thought, but at this point being spoon-fed to those most susceptible and then being taught to their children with the cycle continuing over and over. People are advertising that they are starting communes to keep the rest of the country out of their lives? (WTF?) It almost feels that with every step forward (electing a mixed President), we take 5 steps back (school shootings in abundance, people spouting assassinating the President is a good idea,etc...). In the words of Susan Powter.....STOP THE MADNESS!!! Let's get it together...together!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Y'all have made my day once again!! I'm over 2000 views!! EEEEEEKKKKKK!!! :D
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Have you ever looked at someone and their life and thought: WTF is wrong with you? Why are you making so many bad choices? Why are you putting yourself though so much for nothing? How could you be doing the things you're doing wearing the clothes you're wearing, hanging out with the people you're hanging out with? Or how about this, has someone ever come to you with a problem they're having and you're response is: I'd never do something like that, I'd never put myself in that situation, I'd never make that choice and you shouldn't do that either....
At the end of the day, if you really think about it, can you actually say those things? Can you actually look back at your life and say you've never put yourself in undesirable situations, made stupid choices hung out with the wrong people, let yourself be influenced in the wrong direction, worn questionable clothing, etc. Etc....? I think about the countless times people have come to me asking for advice and I give them impeccable words of wisdom, but I realize that I am a serious case of not practicing what I preach. How irritating it is be able to see things so clearly in regards to other people, yet be so blind when it comes to myself... well blind and stubborn I suppose..
Friday, January 11, 2013
When my first born son was around 1 years old, I used to work at a convenience store overnight by myself. I didn't mind, I was very used to being up all night anyway, plus I got to work by myself and that meant no other people to get on my nerves or in my way. This one morning towards the end of my shift, I was dealing with my usual morning rush of customers. Everything was going pretty smoothly, I was joking around with the customers, blah blah blah, when while I had a line of people at the register, this young man rode up shirtless on his bike. Like all convenience stores, they have certain rules about charging for cups for water, the water is free, but the cup is not. Well, the gentleman came in, upper torso fully tatted, and asked for a cup of water. I explained to him, while still checking out customers, that he would have to pay for the cup. I never thought about it, but the customers kept staring at him and were moving very slowly. The gentleman did not take my news about paying 50 cents for the paper cut, lightly.
He made it vocally known that he did not care for this policy of paying for a cup and went into a tirade of yelling and screaming at me about this policy. I was watching him, but I wasn't really listening, but he was going off! Luckily he was walking out of the store as he was performing his show. Once he got outside, he continued he tantrum of cursing and yelling and giving me the finger as he got his bike and walked it back to the street slowly and continued his journey. While we all stood in the store kind of chuckling about the events that had transpired, the current customer I was ringing up looked at me with a strange look in his eye and asked me if I was worried? I scoffed a bit and asked why would I be worried? He then asked me if I had seen the swastika and white pride tattoos he had all over his body. :O WHAT?! I looked out the window to see if I could still see the disgruntled bike man and sure enough he was still trekkin down the street...slowly....looking back at me..
It was then that I realized that maybe working by myself everyday isn't the best thing in the world anymore, lol. At this point all of the customers were looking at me, a bit concerned, I guess waiting to see if I would kick them all out, lock the doors, call the cops, and resort to the fetal position in the corner. I did what any other sane person would do I suppose... I just laughed nervously with my eyes darting back and forth from the door to the register and make silly jokes like, well I hope he isn't riding his bike to his White Pride hangout to get his buddies or worse to get 50 cents..ha ha ha.. Thankfully the guy never came back, but I did watch the door for the rest of my shift and constantly looked over my shoulder as I walked home.
Well....now that I've told that story, I have no idea how that proves I'm not an ABW, but it helps to know that I did not snap my fingers, roll my neck or my eyes during that whole situation! I didn't get angry at all during that entire time just more confused and amused (at first) than anything.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
The condition that I have is managed by water pills that I take every single day morning, afternoon, and night. The water pills are used to regulate my fluid so that a lumbar puncture is less likely to be needed. The pressure from my condition can also cause vision problems as the pressure can build up behind one's eyes, so that has to be checked from time to time. The worst part about having chronic migraines is that it is truly chronic and daily. I have a migraine about 4-5 days out of each week, each ranging in severity. Thankfully I am working at a job where I have great insurance and I pretty much live at the doctor so I have been able to try as many different solutions as possible and I have tried EVERYTHING. Everything including locking myself in a dark room, taking excessive amounts of OTC medicine which is not healthy, bouncing from doctor to neurologist to doctor to specialist.. Life is hard with daily migraines, having head pain is serious and not fun, especially with a daily job, fiancee, children, and other responsibilities. Sympathy is never the intended goal when telling someone about my migraines, because I know I'll live and get over it.
I'm sharing this with you because headaches do not affect a small percentage of people, they affect many, many people and are serious. I want others to know that you are not alone. While it's possible to keep on truckin and do the day to day with a migraine, sometimes it is so bad that that's not an option. Sometimes migraines are so debilitating that it's hard to function. I have been dealing with my migraines for 10 plus years now and have talked to many different doctors and neurologists, tried many different treatment options and sometimes it's rough to go down this road alone. People who have never actually had a migraine can sympathize and empathize, but they will never truly know the pain migraine sufferers go through. I created a Facebook page for fellow migraine sufferers, Go Here , to hopefully open the door for other people who suffer what I suffer from and to offer a platform for other people to sound off and give treatment suggestions. The most important thing to me with my migraines is to always smile through the pain, I will never allow the pain I'm going through to cause people to think I'm weak or incapable. The pain I'm in may bring me to tears, but those tears can be wiped away and I'll still be there just as strong as ever ready for whatever life has for me and vice versa, just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm not in pain.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Our jobs as parents is to lead and teach our children,give them the tools to succeed, teach them to be leaders and do good in life. Our jobs as parents are to be the adults while they are the children, it is not ok to let our children curse, be subjected to violence or feel threatened. It is not ok to allow our children to disrespect us or other people or do as they please whenever they want. It is our job as parents to be adults and let them be children, to establish that we as parents make the rules and children are to follow them accordingly. It is our job as parents to draw the line for our children and make sure that they know and understand that line. Being the parent, I will not allow my child to curse because they happen to hear me curse. I will not tolerate my child telling me that I am invading their space or infringing on their privacy, because they are children and they don't need privacy, as the parent I need to know what is going on.
As a parent I feel that it is my job to do what is best for the children I gave birth to, because that is the responsibility I took on when I got pregnant and I take that job extremely personal. I don't care if my children hate me, that is none of my concern. What is my concern is making sure that they are safe, healthy, educated, and prepared for the world around them. I don't expect my child to tell me that they did something and it should be ok, because I did it when I was young. You did it so I should be able to do it does not fly in the real world and it will definitely not fly in my household. Have your own mind, be your own person, and take the knowledge and tools I am providing you to make that happen. Am I a hypocrite? When it comes to raising a child....basically anyone else's opinion is null and void? What do you think?
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
When you go out to eat there is some give and take that should happen, you sit, enjoy your meal and drinks, and other people take care of everything else for you. The people who take care of everything for you, don't work for free (close to it) but not for free. Servers make less than 5 dollars an hour which means they rely on the patrons tips for their services to make ends meet. Depending on where you go, those tips are sometimes split between the other people that take care of everything for you including, but not limited to the hostesses, bussers, and bartenders. If you go out to eat and then claim that you don't have enough to tip, then you shouldn't go out to eat. If you go out to eat and then claim that you REFUSE to tip due to some ridiculous cop-out in order to make a point, then you are an ASS. You're contradicting yourself at every turn! You would rather use the money you could use to tip your server to make stupid cards? You claim you've been robbed by the President so you're going to essentially do to someone else what you claim is being done to you?! How dare people be so self-righteous? How dare you claim to be a victim when everything you have done up to this point has shown the exact opposite? I served in restaurants for over 10 years and if somebody left this card on my table, then I would lose my job that night due to the choice words I would have for said patron. Then to say you wish it didn't have to be this way...for BOTH OF US?!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
I wonder now if I should have done something, stepped in to make sure that they were not just going to be walking miles to home or something. Then I think, what could I have done? The little girl clearly had attitude for days, and most likely would not have allowed me to help them and would have pissed me off in the process with her attitude. I just feel sorry for those kids, obviously pretty much raising themselves, I almost wonder if the little girl was the one who took the initiative to make the appointment to begin with. I just want better for us as a whole, I want there to be more positiveness and less "woe is me, whatever" type attitude. I want their to be a sense of pride throughout for every child. I want the thought of killing your brother not to be an option. I want the need to be "hard" to be less about being cold and more about being an actual man. I want others to have the wants that I have.
How do we encourage a whole generation to be better adjusted, better educated, want to be prosperous? It takes us all that's how, we just have to do better. It can be done. We can't get mad at how others perceive us if we clearly have no respect for ourselves.