Tuesday, June 24, 2014

why are YOU mad?

   So recently a Buzzfeed video came out about if black people said to white people what white people say to black people. (still with me?) I watched the video and thought it was hilarious! Reading through the comments it was clear I was one of few who did. There was an abundance of anger from white people, saying the video was racist and race baiting... Interesting.
It's interesting that a video, made to tell the experiences of others in a comedic way, was turned around to be made a vicious attack on white people. 

It's interesting (and sad) that people have made themselves the victim when others have lifelong experiences of the examples given. It's also interesting how easy people are able to jump into the victim role by turning something about others into something all about them. Just goes to show how truly self centered some people are.

Allow me to open your eyes as to why the examples in the video are so silly:

  • When you tell me I talk like a white girl/guy, you're telling me that you have made the assumption that all black people can only speak one way and that way is unintelligible. (hardly the case)


  • When you tell me I'm whiter than you because I don't listen to such and such rap artist, you're telling me that you believe all black people listen to rap and rap only, and to listen to anything else is just unheard of.


I could go on, but I think you get the point. If you feel that this information being pointed out to you in a light hearted way is racist... Then you must be mad at all the people who think this way because otherwise it makes no sense. When we hear these things, most likely we don't get upset, we laugh it off because well.. We expect it. This is how we are represented in mainstream media.
We are "expected" to act a certain way and do certain things and any stray away from the stereotype all of a sudden makes us a different race, how telling. 

Nobody is thinking that ALL white people say these things, but I'm willing to believe that most of the people who haven't actually said it, have at least thought it. Here's the thing, though.... It's NOT A BIG DEAL! Seriously, how dare people get offended by something that we have dealt with for so long and are rarely even bothered by it most of the time. Take this video and take from it what it is giving you, another outlook. Open your mind and see outside of your bubble.

 It's NOT always about YOU. 

Some of the comments I read, people were disgusted because they felt that the video was generalizing the entire white population... Really? That's actually what the examples are proving from the other side. Black people are not just an ongoing rap video, we're not all drug dealers, we're not all on welfare, we don't all listen to rap, we live amongst you doing pretty much the same things you do, but unfortunately we are not given as much credit. 

At this point in my life, I have been called a white girl, asked about my "nappy" hair, been told I sound nothing like the voice on the phone and how surprising I am black, been told how "articulate" I am, been called uppity, etc., more times than I like, but that's life, that's how it goes and all I can do is laugh it off. Could you imagine what I would be called if I got offended?!  Is our community represented diversely in media... not so much, and because of that we do have specific stations and websites and such dedicated solely to us, because we DO want to be represented as more than just the stereotyped norm. Why is that wrong?

Stop letting anger be the first emotion to take over when you're confronted by something you don't understand. That goes for everybody. Try understanding, empathy, at least curiosity. I considered the video to be a funny joke, but after going through the comments, I realize it can be used for so much more if people allow themselves to open their minds about it instead of automatically be offended. 

Have a seat and breathe. Everything will hopefully be OK.... hopefully. Don't expect me to be your stereotype, I won't do it to you.


Thoughts on this, let me hear from you in the comments!




Sunday, January 5, 2014

Things I learned from planning my wedding. .

So I got married a few weeks ago, and I couldn't be happier! My wedding was full of ups and downs, screaming fits and crying, hopefulness and gratefulness. The first thing I cannot express enough is the sentiment that you find out who your true friends are while planning a wedding, could not be more true! (Especially in my case) Within 2/3 months of officially beginning to plan my wedding and picking my 'maids', the drama began. Unfortunately for me, my "true" friends were mostly out of state, so I was limited on who I could pick without inconveniencing anyone.

I had picked 2 co-workers who I had grown close with, an old friend I used to hang out with, and a high school friend who lived within the state but outside the city. Let's just say that by the time my wedding day arrived, the first 3 women had been replaced. There were some serious personality mismatches happening that showed that these women were never truly my friends to begin with. I do not blame them for the drama that happened, rather I blame myself for not realizing the kind of people they were to begin with.

My first tip is this: Realize who is actually your friend before expecting them to be your friend when you need them. Some people can put on the most serious of facades, but a lie can only be carried on for so long before it gets too heavy for even the most deceitful of persons. Once the drama was over and done with, I was able to get on with planning my beautiful day. I would have loved to have hired a wedding planner or a day of co-ordinator, but it just didn't seem fiscally feasible. Why pay someone to do something that I am completely capable of doing on my own? I've planned a few parties in my day that were all successes, how much harder would this be?
Let's just say that planning a wedding (solo dolo), going to school, raising children, having daily migraines, working, and attempting to stay pleasant around my then-fiance was not the most desirable of situations, lol. Once I took a break from school, I was able to manage things a bit better. 
After finding what seemed to be a great venue, a florist, bakery, and other small details, I couldn't wait for the day to finally come!
                     

Once I was able to concentrate on my dress, I CONCENTRATED on my dress! I knew that I wanted my dress to be original and as different as I could think of, so I decided to dye it! My mother came down and we picked out the most beautiful dress, we both fell in love!

Once I bought it and took it home, I found the most amazing woman! Marisela was advertised on Etsy for dyeing services, and I knew that she was going to make my dress amazingly Me-Ified... And she did NOT disappoint! I could not believe how insanely incredible the dress came out! Not only did I add the pink ombre..

                     


I also gave the girls some decoration! ;)

The day of my wedding was lots of running! Even though I had clearly scheduled enough time to do everything, I realized that day that for some reason, time didn't stop when I needed it! Perish the thought! Nothing really had to suffer due to unfortunate timing, and everyone lived (because I didn't want to get blood on my dress). All of my planning, insanity, and stress was for good use. I got so many compliments on everything and people even saying they wanted me to plan events for them, lol! 
So my list of tips-
  • Don't let people persuade you from something you envision, if you know in your heart it will be what you want (you're not a child).
  • Never forget it's you and your future husband's day! Nobody else's! Don't let family try to backseat plan YOUR wedding! Never feel that you have to sacrifice to make OTHER people happy. Always remember that nobody else has the right to tell you what to do on YOUR day.

  • Explore all of your options! Read reviews! Do your research! The biggest regret of my wedding was the venue and bakery chosen. Even though the cake was beautiful and the venue was beautiful, what I had to deal with was NOT worth it. If I had to do it all over again, I would avoid those businesses like the plague! 

  • And lastly, have fun! Enjoy it! If you're not having fun planning what should be a fun time, how's that going to work out? Don't allow yourself to get bogged down in all the trends, styles, and latest fads. Do you and what you like because being true to you will never be out of date! Pinterest, wedding forums, wedding sites, etc., are fun, but don't make them you're entire life. A wedding only lasts 1 day, it's your marriage that should be your focus for longterm. Oh and if you're going to plan a wedding with certain colors that are out of season on your wedding date, make sure to do a lot of planning ahead to get the things you'll need! ;)












Saturday, January 4, 2014

So..... That 2013.... Yea...

So... 2013, what a year! Not really, but.. ya know. As I think back about this year, I remember a lot of anger, not necessarily in my direct life, but in the world. So many people upset about this and that and whatever, that for the most part do not have anything to do with anybody's actual lives for them to be upset about. I also remember a lot of stupidity, more "reality" shows, more over dramatizing of Hollywood happenings, more grown ass adults crying over who gets to do what, childishly clamoring to get people's attention instead of having people's best interests in mind. 
But... There was some good in 2013, I got married! (woo) 
But 2013 craziness aside, I have high hopes for the new year! I personally stopped making resolutions a long time ago, but what I do is make little goals for myself. One of those goals is to be more patient. After enduring some serious road rage, it occurred to me that people are out of control in the disrespect aspect of life. I've always known how rude and ridiculous people can be, but I am overwhelmed by just how crazy it has gotten. I don't understand how people can be so lax in how they treat people. I didn't realize that people were so filled with hate that even the most simple acts of kindness are too much work. 

But either way, here's to the new year! I pray and hope that it is better than last year for everyone!

Sunday, October 27, 2013

As Promised... My Story About A Woman Discriminated Against...

As promised, I have written a story about some serious discrimination ridiculousness going on at Dunkin Donuts in North Carolina, probably not for what you think (especially being in North Caronlina).  If you know of anyone who could possibly help this woman out, PLEASE, make them aware of this heartbreaking story!

HELP THIS WOMAN!


Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Where Have I Been?!?!?!

Oh my! I know I have been gone for farrrrrrr too long! I hope you have missed me just as much as I have missed you!  I think about you everyday! ^.^  Well I have been freelance blogging, writing, and editing for LiberalAmerica.org (yay), working, going to school, maintaining my family, and {drumroll please} PLANNING MY WEDDING!!! AHHHH! Woo!  So yea, I've been reading other people's blogs and neglecting my own! (shame!).  I promise that I shall return very, very soon and I feel the need to do a wedding-post (because they're everywhere and I want one too!) But, before I grace your eyes with what will be what I hope a beautiful wedding, I will be back with a seriously hard-hitting post about discrimination in the workplace... not based on gender.. or race... oooo what could it be! I shall return, but until then: Keep being you and love that!


Sunday, June 16, 2013

Freelancing...

   So it is official!!! I am now a Freelance blogger for LiberalAmerica.org!!!! Yay!! So excited!! I have also officially blogged my first post -----> First, but not last! <----- check it out!! It's pretty awesome! ^.^  Thank you to everyone who has ever visited this blog, read, laughed, scoffed, and rolled their eyes with and at me ;), it's your pageviews that have given me the drive to take this blogging thing and work it!! :)  I hope you will all enjoy my blog posts here as well as at LiberalAmerica.org!  Have a great weekend, enjoy Father's day and don't forget to tell someone you love them!!!


Sunday, June 9, 2013

Incredible Beauty!

  Hello everybody!! I know it's been awhile ( and I'm sure you all missed me :p)  But here I am!  I just had to blog about this incredible artist, Ray Ferrer!  His work is absolutely incredible and inspiring!  I can also say that the artist is a pleasure to work with!  I am enlisting him for some things for my wedding and I couldn't be happier or more excited!  So if you appreciate beauty, art, and a fresh perspective, please go check this out --->

Urban Wall Art Blog Page

Urban Wall Art Etsy

Urban Wall Art Facebook



Just to give you a quick peek into his genius- (I love this piece)


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Another note to whoever (1 million moms)

Dear 1 million moms,

I'd first like to applaud you on your over zealous title, seeing that you have still not even come close to 1 million likes, even though you began your warped mission in May of 2009.  I also wonder why you did not choose the title 1 million parents because I am sure there are men out there who share your obscure view on how to better the world.  Surely your blatant discrimination of men could have helped up your numbers a bit?  I scrolled through your fb page (as much as I could stomach) and what I get is that perhaps you're watching too much TV.  Maybe your cause as moms would be more helpful if you focused on making children's lives better as opposed to bullying other people for living theirs?  Perhaps your mission as moms would make more sense if you taught your children how to love everyone or at the very least, respect everyone for their differences.  As a mother, it is truly sad to see a bunch of women who think they are holier than thou, try to bully anyone who they seem to think is challenging them and their "family values".  Forget television, companies, the gay community, etc. ..what kind of example are YOU setting with your actions?  Do you tell your children it's ok to bully other children if they are different?  Do you plot with them when they decide to go after a classmate?  As a mother, here's some motherly advice:
1) mind your own business
2) God makes no mistakes (even though you and your Christianness think he does)
3) when you point your finger at someone, you have 3 fingers pointing back at you.
4) the golden rule that we are taught in kindergarten, treat everyone as you would like to be treated.
5) turn off the TV and read a book.
6) nobody likes a tattletale.
7) life is much easier when you look for the good and not the bad.

If your goal was to truly enlighten people to what was wrong with this country, first you should start with yourself, then you should realize that what you've been campaigning against are the LEAST of anyone's problems.

My Note to Whoever....(starting with A&F)

    Recently I read a very cute note written to Abercrombie and Fitch, written by a self-proclaimed "fat girl".  It got me to thinking, why don't we write notes to everyone who has pissed us off for some reason or another, whether it be big companies or celebrities or random people we run into everyday.  So here are my notes to whoever:

   Dear Mr. CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch,
How dare you think you are above anyone in anyway considering the picture I have found of you.  I had to do double research to determine if you were the one on the right or the left.  It is people like you, with your imaginary sense of prettiness that actually negates your so called cool and popular kid status.  Considering you're at least 60 years old (I'm guessing from the pictures I've seen), it's quite alarming that you are even worried about the popular or cool crowd anymore.  I imagine you were an outcast when you were in high school, so then you grew up and got a lot of money, which you then thought made you pretty and cool... I am here to tell you that your money has not made you pretty or cool.  It's so sad to see a grown man still trying to live life as though he were in high school, I pity you.  As far as your clothes and stores go..  Well, everything you sell is "vanilla", because I have honestly not seen anyone wear anything from Abercrombie and Fitch, with the exclusion of the extremely vanilla everyday, pretty lame shirt that says A&F (a shirt that I see most people throw on to run to the store, probably wal-mart, or to do yardwork, because they don't want to ruin their good clothes), since..... who knows when.  Although I do have to give you kudos for your loyal sheep-like customers, I can remember once, a very, very long time ago, going shopping with a friend.  This friend demanded that we stop at A&F, just to look around, I say demanded, because I did NOT want to go into what appeared to be extremely depressing and delusional store, not to mention the choking perfume or cologne that was wafting out of there so heavily, like desperation spewing from a 60 year old man's mouth as he talks about only wanting to appeal to high schoolers.  In the end, we walked around pretentious 'R' us, and ended up leaving without her buying anything, of course.  Later on that night, we ended up at some kid's party and wouldn't you know, there was a girl there wearing the EXACT same outfit as one of the mannequins at your store!  I couldn't believe it, I was totally mortified that this chick had no sense of originality at all, I literally saw her and had my jaw drop out of disbelief.  This girl then became the drunk belligerent girl who, by the end of the night was hanging on every male at the party...so sad, but not surprising.  I know your words are from a couple years ago, so why don't you do us all a favor and
EVOLVE!



Saturday, May 4, 2013

The Hypocrisy and Other Things.....

   Recently one part of the Kriss Kross duo passed away.  He had been in the media a few years ago due to a picture he took with a fan that did not show him or his hair in the greatest light.  The result of that picture was the same as the result of any picture or story that is "celebrity" related.  People made assumptions and the rumors and sh!t talking began.  An editor of some magazine or something wrote up a story about it and suggested that we end "celebrity" bullying.  I heard about this story on a satellite radio station while driving home from work.  I thought it was interesting that this DJ was so adamant about agreeing to end "celebrity" bullying when, whenever I forget to change the channel from hearing these people talk about nonsense, I listen to all of these DJs indulging in "celebrity" gossip and judging this person and that person because of what they wore, how their hair was, who they were with, blah blah blah.  It's so easy for people to jump on the bandwagon of an idea that sounds so noble and catchy, but how do they not realize that they are, in fact, talking about themselves?  I mean, the audacity of someone standing on their soapbox to talk down to others to tell them what THEY should be doing, when they are the biggest perpetrators of said doings.  You may be wondering why I keep putting celebrity in quotation marks... The reason I am doing this is because the people who are being talked about do include actual celebrities such as actors, actresses, singers, etc., but they also include reality stars who are famous simply for being dramatic and ridiculous and therefore I do not see them as celebrities but faux celebrities.  There is an increasingly growing trend of obnoxious people having their every move watched and documented as if they are of some importance.  It's bad enough that because some actress or singer checks into some rehab, it's considered Breaking News, now we're adding these people clinging to their last 2 minutes of fame into the mix.
 
    I'm sure I'm coming off as sounding hateful or mean, but... who cares?!  I love movies and music and TV just as much as the next person, if not more, but what these people wear, date, eat.... is not important.  It doesn't affect me at all and therefore is not news.  I have found myself a little resentful at the money these people make sometimes, especially the young stars, but in the end you really can't knock their hustle, good for them.  I saw a meme online with Jada Pinkett talking on a panel regarding some issue and all the comments where: "she makes millions of dollars, who cares what she has to say?"  Or "She leads a life of luxury, what does she know about the average person?"  If someone is using their celebrity to stand up for a cause, then shut the hell up!?  Disregarding someone because they make a lot of money is the same as disregarding someone because they have no money.  America is in serious trouble with no signs of getting better and it is truly scary.

     It's amazing how many people consider themselves the end all be all of opinions when it comes to anything, especially when they go online.  Granted, I realize I could be put into this category myself, but...who really cares?!  If more people started worrying about themselves and their own family, imagine the possibilities!  In the immortal words of the little girl in the video below....

WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF!