Sunday, December 16, 2012

part II

  I just have so many questions and thoughts in my head about this.  Everything about this is so.... just unbelievable   Here we are 2 days later and my mind is still centered on this.  All I can think about what has happened.  When I leave my house and I see us all going about our days.. I think about those poor families and how long is it going to take for them to have a "normal" day again.  I think about my co-worker who's nieces went to that school and only 1 made it out alive.  I think about the sister who survived and will have to think about this for the rest of her life.  I think about how his niece and my daughter have the exact same birthday and how I will never forget her and will remember her memory every year by lighting a candle on their birthday and saying a prayer.  I keep looking at my children, knowing that I have never taken theirs or anyone's presence in my life for granted, but for some reason feel a little guilty for being able to still have them, when so many throughout the country no longer do.  This tragedy has brought upon a depression like I have never known.  I don't quite think depression is even the word....just....saddened, immensely saddened. It frightens me that I keep having the need to talk to my kids about what to do in emergency situations, such as the bad man who hurt so many people.  It's like a ticking time bomb just existing, as if I'm just waiting for something else to happen.  When will this end? At least I have blogging to get my feelings out, I hope that others are also utilizing other outlets to get their feelings out, no matter what feelings they are.  Everyone needs at least one person they can talk to at anytime for anything, I like to think that I am that person for many, even though I know I am that person for all.  Always reach out and talk it out, even when you think there isn't anybody who cares, you might be surprised at who does.  I can always be reached on my twitter, facebook, and here.  If I can't do anything else, I can always provide an ear to listen.

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