Another Discovery!

Fb is a playground for new and disturbing information.  Today I stumbled upon a page called American White History Month.....  This page amazes me because, first of all when I was growing up and going through school, I would say 90 percent of the lessons given where about what white people have done throughout history.  This is not a problem for me, it is what it is, no big deal.  What I'm stunned at is the comments on this page.  The people on this page, well some of them, some of the ones that I could stomach reading, put on their big person caps and angrily protest that they are not racist.... As you read their comments though...it's quickly forgotten that these people "are not racist".  One man actually uses the word negro..multiple times... Lemme clear that up for everyone in the world, right here and right now... calling black people negros is the equivalent of calling us niggers.  It's not ok, at all, and I cannot understand why anyone would think that it is.  It boggles the mind that people will say that they are not racist, until they are blue in the face, but their actions and words do not reflect that..

  Is the term so offensive, that people think that they can be racist, but to be called a racist is just too far?!  I saw something that a very well known actor had said about racism, that the way for it to go away is to stop talking about it.  I do not agree with that at all, when has ignoring something ever made anything better?  Racism is already not very talked about and has it gone away?  One of these days I would love to just sit and have a nice long discussion about so many different things going on with people from every race, gender, sexual preference, I would really love that, before I am able to do that, please take a look at an article where I read a very thought provoking essay about a white woman who had a very unique stance on racism, something I have never, in my life, heard articulated as thought provokingly as this woman did.  It's a bit lengthy, but very intelligent and amazing to see someone so self aware:

http://www.pcc.edu/resources/illumination/documents/white-privilege-essay-mcintosh.pdf

When does the innocence and sweetness stop?

  Ahhhhhh, children.  They are so sweet, simple, and honest.  They are this way because they don't know different and it should stay that way as long as possible!  I was reminded of the innocence of children over the weekend at the mall.  Even though I have my own children and witness their innocence everyday, it's somehow different when it is a random child.  While going from store to store, and location to location for my mother, we were on the escalators at Sears, my mom was in front, my daughter next, and me pulling up the rear on my phone.  Suddenly I heard a little voice say something, I thought the little voice was talking to my mom or at least my daughter, so when I looked up and saw the little girl behind the little voice staring at me, I responded ever so eloquently: huh?  The little girl with the little voice, still staring at me, repeated herself and said: You're pretty.  A simple statement that was anything but simple to me.  I looked at her, completely shocked and in disbelief, and all I could do was gush out a stuttering Thank you!  She smiled and skipped back to her place back in the TV section.

  This was one of the sweetest things to happen to me in a long time that didn't involve my fiancee, kids, family, or friends.  It makes my heart smile big just thinking about the innocence a child possesses to just say whatever they are feeling, never thinking about the consequences.  Even though this isn't always the best thing, honesty is always an incredible and admirable character trait to possess.  I thought it was just too precious that this little girl took a moment out of her people watching time to pass on a compliment.  If everybody could take a minute out of their day to pass on a compliment to a stranger, just think about how many people could be uplifted daily!  I will never forget that little girl, she will never know how sweet that was or how much it meant to me, and that just makes it even more memorable!

Inspiration....available in all sizes, shapes, colors, you name it!

I absolutely adore any feel good video, song, poem, quote...anything that gives hope, and promotes positiveness!  I love to see anyone rise above adversity and refuse to let life take it's toll on them.  Inspiration can come from anywhere and most people need it when they don't even realize it.  I could listen to people's stories all day, good and bad, but hearing the good is always a beautiful thing, hearing the good after knowing about the bad is even more heart warming.  :)   This video was so amazing, that I shed a tear, well a few tears, no surprise there, lol.  We all have seen a saying somewhere at some time telling us not get bogged down, not to be discouraged.....but how many of us let those messages actually sink in so that we can give ourselves a break sometimes?  Sometimes the best way to get inspired, is to first allow yourself to be inspired, realize that stopping and taking a breath every now and then allows our brains to settle and be more open to new ideas and thoughts.  Take a moment for yourself today, tonight, this morning, whenever and just breathe... and start over.

No really? You're serious?

I am almost at a loss for words about the discovery I have stumbled upon today.  From the fb page of Marquis De Suave, came the eye opener of all time about some men in this world.  Apparently there are men who think they are being discriminated against because they are men.... yes because they are men.  When I say I looked through these fb pages' posts with my mouth wide opened in shock, I am not exaggerating!  There were so many mind blowing topics and discussions that I'm finding it hard to list them, my mind was that blown, and still is. 

  The men on these pages are seriously under the impression that they are being mistreated in society, most of them white men.  This revelation has me completely perplexed.  I never knew that men had it so tough in life.  Here I am in the dark, while all this neglect has been happening, from the discrimination in the workplace to the constant berating from the media.   I mean, I never realized how rare it was to see a man in a position of power at a company, nor did I pay any attention to the constant missed job opportunities my male friends were passed over for to give to a woman who was less qualified.  How could I not take seriously the general lack of respect for men in general, I mean you see it everywhere; on the streets, in the media, and even in politics.

  One commentator even pointed out how chivalry was making male discrimination worse!  How could I have possibly missed that?  I mean it makes perfect sense, whenever men show respect towards women it totally leaves the door open for discrimination.  I hope you all have learned as much as I did today, and know that together, we can stop this madness!  I mean what is the world coming to when a man feels threatened by women standing up for themselves.... could be the end of civilization as we know it.............

Snapped....I'd say so...

  So I'm at home resting after a visit from my lovely mother, and I'm watching the show, Snapped, on Oxygen.  You know the one where a woman has clearly lost her mind and decided to kill a man in her life.  This show amazes me!  I cannot wrap my mind around the thought of people resorting to murder to solve their issues.  They all start off the same, testimonials from people close to the women saying how great the women were and the fact that they killed someone is shocking!  A lot of these situations are not really "snapped" situations, I don't think.  These stories are about women who end up in various situations, unhappy marriages, cheating spouse, the woman cheating, girls upset at their dad, greed, etc.  The women cheat and then decide they no longer want to be with their spouse, so of course the natural step would be murder.  Women decide that the lifestyle they have grown accustomed to would be so much more endearing without the person who helped make it all happen, so of course, murder must ensue.  Dad disagrees with new boyfriend, so he must die as well.  I suppose this is why forensic psychology is so intriguing to me, I am just super interested in the minds of people and their actions.  I want to know why murder is a logical step in some people's minds, while divorce, breaking up, moving out, or moving on is logical to others.

  It sometimes makes me very nervous to think about how unpredictable people are, even people you have never met in your life, could possibly hold your fate in their hands...scary.

They are human beings, DUH!

  I absolutely love drag queens, going to a drag show on the weekend is definitely my definition of a great time.  I just enjoy the celebration of what they represent, they do what is true to them, and I can always get on board with that.  I record RuPaul's Drag Race every Monday night and watch it in the morning before I go to work, and most of the time, my daughter comes into my room, as I take her to daycare before I go to work.  Someone asked me how could I let my daughter watch that show, and that they thought it was not suitable for children to watch.  I was taken back by this statement, because I honestly did not know or understand what that meant.  This is not a show where they are having sexual relations with one another, there's just nothing outlandish about this show besides the yelling back and forth and sometimes cattiness, and then it hit me that they were talking about men dressing up as women.  How is that inappropriate for children, these men are just being who they are, why would my daughter not be able to watch this?  This is the real world, am I going to shield my daughter from everything that could be possibly taboo?  That is just silly, my daughter loves this show just as much as I do, because they're doing crazy hair, makeup, and just having fun, am I going to tell my daughter she can't watch this?  Am I going to place a stigma on something that doesn't need a stigma?  My daughter is like her mother, open-minded and open-hearted and I wouldn't wanna change that for anything in the world.  I don't let her listen to rap music or watch sexually oriented teen shows or violence, because those are the things we should be careful when exposing our children to it, not people being people.

Classic without Class is just... embarrassing...

  I respect everyone and every culture for their differences, as well as find a lot of them interesting and admirable.  What I witnessed today was....nothing short of grossly ridiculous.  Every year around Thanksgiving there is an event that happens in Orlando that I think is called the Florida Classic.  I'm not the most knowledgeable about this event, I think there is a football game?  There is definitely a car show and herein lies my issue.  The car show itself is impressive to a point I suppose.  It is not something that I can personally validate, spending so much money to make one's car be a rolling Hello Kitty advert or look like a box of Nerds candy?  To each his own, though right?  It is what it is, I have no problem encouraging the celebration of  something that many people enjoy while it brings them together.  What I do have a problem with is grown adults acting like complete fools in the middle of a heavily trafficked street.  My mother kinda made me feel as though I am thinking too deeply about this, maybe I am being a little too cynical she thinks....  I don't know, I feel that I am just sick of the trifling, sad, and sorry things my eyes happen to come upon a daily basis.  I'm tired of so many people not living up to even half of their potential.  I get angry and embarrassed because I know these people can do better and should want to do better, yes especially black people.  We have come so far as a people and at the same time, not far at all.

  Things such as the display I witnessed earlier, sitting in traffic for over thirty minutes while people are acting just plain ignorant is too much for me to bear when I think about it.  This, along with so many other things are a problem, a serious problem.  Yet I see a traveling picture on Facebook of a beautiful black baby with a pacifier that looks like a gold grill, and THIS is what gets black people upset.  Lol, it is maddening that with so much going on in this world, within the black community alone, that a pacifier is what people choose to focus on, because THAT is a huge issue.....a frickin p a c i f i e r.... But I am not one to bitch and moan without attempting to help, one of my favorite sayings is: If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem; because it's so true!  My frustration can only be justified as long as I am willing to do my part in making things better.  So excited to get this organization off the ground and running, because it is so overdue.

Well.... :/

So as we all know from a previous post, I love music and all kinds and for different reasons.  Some music has lyrics that really touch my heart and others just have a really beat.  Although I do listen to some rap, it's definitely not my favorite.  Rap just boggles my mind because most of it is just foolishness with some sprinkled with a few deep thoughts.  The worst part about rap is the portrayal of women negatively and the glorification of certain things that should never be glorified by anyone.

  With regards to the dehumanizing of women, I personally cannot put blame solely on the rappers.  We also have to accept part of the blame as consumers and listeners.  We also have to put some of the blame on the women who help these messages become real by being in the videos and pandering to the rappers.  At the end of the day, rappers, actors, and anyone in the public eye will do whatever they need to do in order to see dollar signs.  It is up to us as a society to ensure that their negativity remain a show and we understand that as well as pass on that understanding to our children. 

  It's all a show and nobody should ever take them seriously.  It's entertainment and will most likely never change, so we have to change our thinking.  Instead of getting upset at the ridiculousness of the media, just simply take it with a grain of salt and realize it's not that serious, look at the people themselves who are in the midst of it. We can't take them seriously, it doesn't even seem as though they take themselves seriously or with an ounce of respect.  It's a big circus and the clowns will do anything for attention.

*this post was brought to you by a very intelligent friend of a friend, thanks Jillian!   ;) *  I am always open to new post suggestions.  :-D

Common Sense, Oh Common Sense....Wherefore Art Thou?

This will be a common post, a collection of funny (to me) stories,  scenarios, and situations about the lack of common sense and how they sit in my mind.  All of these stories are true, the names of the people involved have been omitted out of respect...but you know who you are!
Act I:
Calling into a customer service line for a phone company... the automated voice asks if the number you're calling from is the number associated with your account, you say yes. The automated voice then asks you to punch in the number associated with your account, so you punch it in.  Then the rep who finally gets on the line asks you for your damn phone number associated with your account!  Why do I have to tell yall three different times, if not more?  Common sense people, get it together!

 

EBT paid for that?!

  We've all heard at least one person say: I hate to go shopping with the little money that I have and see someone else, decked out in designer clothes with an iPhone paying with their government benefit card.  This statement is laughable ridiculous to me, so much so that even writing it makes me chuckle.  I know good and well that there are of course people out there who will abuse the system, any system, in some way.  That is what people do, they try to get ahead as much as possible without having to work for it.  Let me clear up one version of the aforementioned statement.... government benefits do not pay for BMWs, Gucci, or nice houses... Yes I have heard this claim.  Let me also clear up something else, there is this thing called a knockoff, they are sold EVERYWHERE!  You can get a Cucci watch for like twenty bucks.  So before you feel cheated by the lazy, no good, welfare abusers; consider this:  Not everything that glitters is gold, and what you think you see, may in fact not be what you think you see at all.  That woman in line paying with an assistance card, while holding her Versace purse and Evo LTE, may be picking up groceries for someone else, that woman you saw get out of her Cadillac, with her hair and nails done, sporting a lovely looking designer bag...might have borrowed the car from someone else to get to the store, be in beauty school, and got a knockoff Versale.

  Assuming anything about anyone you just happen by for a couple of minutes, tells no one ANYTHING!  Never assume, because we all know what that does.... it makes an ASS out of U and ME ;)

Cellphones...

I will be the first to admit I have to constantly keep my phone charging because I am constantly on it.   Not actually talking to people, but texting, blogging, researching online, fb and other things.  But one thing I try not to do is text and drive.  Another thing I do not do is talk on the phone therefore rendering me incapable of doing the speed limit!  I do not understand how anyone can get so involved in a conversation that they are no longer able to properly use their legs.  For the life of me I can't wrap my mind around it. 

  There is an ongoing epidemic that when someone has a phone to their ear, they are transported to another place where they are sitting still or to another universe where everything disappears but them and the phone.  Why though?!  We don't use our ears  to accelerate, we use different parts of our body to drive, only need one hand, foot, and eyes.  What kinda gamma rays or whatever, are being emitted from cellphones to cause a breakdown in the rest of people's bodies?

  Lol, maybe it is just me, but if you are not able to get to point A to point B without your phone paralyzing you, then perhaps it can wait. As if it's not bad enough that we drive crazy without distractions, don't add to it, I beg of you!  Pull over or just put it off until you reach your destination.

  Thank you from the drivers who have places to get to.

Struggle..

I am a firecracker, I get the ball rolling.  I am highly motivated and organized and love starting a project.  The worst thing about starting a project can be one of many things, like time, money, research, getting people on board blah blah blah.  I refuse to give up until I'm on the ground, knocked out, and bloody and someone's wrapping me up in a blanket telling me it's over and it's time to bounce back, and even then it's hard.  I'm facing a huge hurdle right now with a current, not so current project that due to the holidays I cannot really get started and it is driving me bonkers!  I have started the research and it starts to make me weary to think of all the obstacles I will be facing. 

  But I know that through perseverance and faith my want to help others will get this accomplished, even though it's going to take quite some time.  Making a schedule and communicating with my partners in this should help this move along with everyone giving their all.

  Isn't it frustrating as hell though to see others doing what you're ready to do?  Sometimes that can be a deterrent, because we start to assume that they had help, they were given money, or even that they are just better.   The key to that obstacle I think is turning it into a motivational point, seeing their strides and hearing their stories is sometimes the kick in the butt we need.

That's how we doin it?

  So I was in the drive- thru at Taco Bell, a location that provides excellent customer service, and that Lil Wayne song called No Worries is playing, in this song; Lil Wayne says something about some chick bein bad as a hooker....  Lemme get this straight, at one time it was bad was strong and independent was bad, then video chick, then stripper chick and now we have devolved to hooker.

  I mean seriously rappers?  Is this how it's going down in celebrity USA?  All I can do is laugh my ass off and shake my head.

Yayyyyy!

I'm Soooooo excited and humbled, it may not be a lot to other people but I am extremely grateful for 500 views!  Thank you so much to each and every one of you, from the first time readers to the dedicated followers, thank you so much for your time and attention!  Know that it is never overlooked or unnoticed.  I can't stop smiling about this.  Thank you all again and here's to 500 more!  :-D

Infuriating

Social networking has become a mixed blessing...  I enjoy the fact that I can keep in touch with my friends who are so far away yet so dear to my heart, but I also see that ignorance and hate, much like misery, loves company.   Perhaps that is because people who are so hateful are truly miserable.. who knows?  I am a curious character, I like to know what's going on with other parts of the world, how other people are thinking, I often find myself wondering what random people I see do in their day to day lives.  Some call it nosey, I call it curious. :D   Evey now and then a FB friend will "like" something on a page and sometimes I'll mosey on over to see what that page is about.

  Today I happened upon a page for that reason and found some of the most delusional people..  E.V.E.R!  It's always disheartening to come across any group of people banded together in the name of hate, even more so when it's hate towards someone who holds the highest office in our country.  Granted everyone has their own opinions and are certainly entitled to feel however they want, but when the opinions are based on racist hate and intolerance I can't get on board with it.  I'm not going to get all political, but the fact of the matter is no matter who is President, even if you don't like them, you should damn well respect them.  9 out of 10 people will say they want to be respected, but at least 4 of those people don't understand that you have to be respectful in order for it to be reciprocated.  
  I feel sorry for the children growing up in these households where they are being spoon fed hate and ignorance.... if anyone ever thought that these types of things were getting better, please don't be so naïve.  I totally disagree that not talking about racism will make it go away, sorry Mr Freeman but that method has not been working.  And to further make that page more ridiculous is it had common sense in the name!  Pf.

Hearsay...

It's amazing how a rumor or accusation can turn into so much more.. Right now there is a story about the puppeteer for Elmo, a story that states that he had a sexual relationship with a sixteen year old boy, 7 years ago. I believe it is the nature of our society to want to see people embarrassed, to want to see people fall. People's first instinct is to turn this story of an unfortunate yet unproven circumstance into that of a witch hunt.
  This man has been gay and proud for who knows how long, but now that someone has accused him of something horrible, he is the bad guy, despite his achievements.  Logic does not come into play normally with stories like this and it's maddening!
  It drives me crazy that people would rather believe the worst in people before they choose to fathom the best in them, even though everyone wants others to do that for them.  People would rather believe that a dog with blood and flesh dripping from it's mouth is innocent before believing fact and logic about a human being. How sad for us.

 

ummm...CRAZY-AZY!

Man!  Getting all the information to start this Non-Profit Organization is exhausting!! But if you know me, then you know I enjoy a challenge and being busy, multi-tasking is kinda my thing ;)  Soooo while I've been researching for all this, I am finally finishing Cape Fear (the remake), and I know, I know, I should have finished this movie a long time ago.... but hey I forgot!  While watching this movie, I was once again reminded of the extreme cultural difference between white people and black people.  Watching Juliette Lewis in this movie just do whatever she wants and say whatever she wants to her parents just blows my mind!  The same thing when catching up on Homeland earlier today.  For the life of me, I will never understand why white parents allow their children to speak and treat them in whatever fashion they see fit.  I watch these scenarios and on one hand I think, no way, this is so unbelievable, there is just no possible way that any parent would allow their child to act in such a way, but then I think back to when I was younger, visited the homes of my many white friends and I how I was so fortunate to awkwardly witness these situations.  This is not to say that ALL white parents allow such disobedience and disrespect or that ALL black parents do not allow such disobedience and disrespect, this is to say that from what I have witnessed and heard, it proves the theory that white parents are much more inclined to allow their children to disrespect them than black parents are.... Why is that?

Wherefore art thou....

Act III

Walking through the more expensive mall in my city, I stumble upon quite a scene.... A man standing next to the escalators, on his phone, facing away from the escalators, while he has his child on one of those leash things.  The child is basically sitting at the top of the escalators, bound to do what children do.  Where to start with all the things wrong with this picture?  I understand that for some men, dealing with children is a bit difficult, but I can only imagine how difficult it is when you obviously do not care about your child at all!  Putting your child on one of those ridiculous leashes is all but one hard yank from being child abuse, not to mention incredibly ridiculously stupid.  This reminds me of the recurring scenes in Mallrats where Jason Lee keeps going off about the "kid on the escalator."  Not only did this man pointlessly have his child attached to a leash, pf, but he wasn't even paying attention to his child.  Is that why people have these leashes?  So that they can have a false sense of security and think that as long as their child is attached to this leash, (I love that this is a leash...putting children on a leash..I laugh every time I type it, a leash... so sad), but if their child is attached to this leash, then basically their duties as the parental figure who is supposed to monitor their child, are taken care of... Leash = autopilot parent!  Common sense...please!!! If you are going to embarrass yourself and your child by treating them like a dog, the least you could do is watch them like a child..... really?

Orbitz is not enough to clean up this potty mouth...

I have made a conscience decision not to include profanity in my blog, mostly out of respect for my mother, since I was bugging her to read it.   In general though, I see nothing wrong with colorful conversation.   I think profanity is swell and a great way to express oneself.  I've always wondered why people say using profanity makes someone look less than intelligent...  I don't think that makes sense at all.  Summing up someone's entire identity from a few choice words is not fair, one might go so far as to say that is passing judgement without any real basis... i.e. discriminating, which as we all know is in itself ignorant to judge a book by its cover.  Just because I choose to drop a few F bombs here and there does not mean that what I am actually talking about has no substance or merit, I think that would mean that the person offended by my words is so short sided that they got caught up on a couple words and as a result missed the entire point I was trying to make... ADD much?

  There is always a time and place for things of course and I'm a form believer in respecting your elders... but the blanket consensus that profanity=lower intellect is just silly.  I enjoy my "creative" words and try to find as many opportunities to use them as possible, lol cuz they're just words and they're so much fun and oh so perfect sometimes.

So hard it's easy...

The hardest thing to do these days is to go out into the world and be true to who you are...

Smh...

So I was driving today and a recurring thought came to mind.  When I drive I like to let the music take control, like one of the best things in the world is to be driving alone with the windows down, music at full blast, chillin!  But when I'm driving I wonder what the people outside hear.   Does that make sense, lol?   One day I'm going to have to find the answer to the one of many questions in my mind.

Just gotta share this! <3

So I've been bugging my beautiful mother to read my blog, since I started writing it, probably working her last nerve, lol.  And today she told me that she reads all my posts and that they're interesting, they make her want to conversate with me.  That is the biggest and best compliment I could have gotten, even if she didn't necessarily mean it to be a compliment, that's how I took it.  I honestly have the best mother, E V  E R!   For so many different reasons.  <3 so blessed <3

Wherefore art thou....

Act II
In the bathroom... automatic flush, automatic faucet for the sink.... still have to pull on the door inward to get out....   Soooooo close.... common sense truly is not so common.

If the movies taught me anything....

I love loooooooove movies, almost as much as music! And the one lesson I learned before many others is to never let a day go by without letting the ones you love, know that you love them.  Lol I know that may seem a little silly, but it's true.  I have the ability to get extremely emotionally involved in stories of all kinds.  Whether it's music, a play, or a book, I get into it like you wouldn't believe.  So when you think about some very common plot lines, someone being in a situation where tragedy happens to someone they've been away from, was pretty popular.  Someone is wishing they could talk to so and so just one last time.  Now I am a very firm believer of letting people know they are appreciated, as much as possible.  Tomorrow is never promised, right?

Just stop it....

Soooooo on my way to work today, a song came on the radio.  It was an older song about a guy seeing a chick he used to know, stripping.  When he approached her and they started talking, she asked him what would he do if his child was all alone crying all alone cuz he's hungry, and that his dad was gone doing drugs and in and out of jail..... oh and she had to sleep with men to feed her child.  
   WTF! Here's the thing, lol, I feel that we are advocating unwed pregnancies.  I know at least one person is going to be upset about what I just said, so let me explain.  Don't think that I'm up on a soapbox preaching to those that did not get married and then have children, as if to suggest that I was so inclined to take those steps myself or that people don't get divorced, farthest things from the truth.  I just feel that, to me, there seems to be a celebration about being a "baby mama" and I don't get it.  Being a single mother because you had sex at a young age with a man you don't even like or vice versa is NOT cute.  I do not understand how we see the struggles of someone else and don't take the necessary precautions to avoid that.  Yes I said we.
   It's all well and good to get yourself into a situation and be able to come out of it stronger and be thriving for bigger and better.  But, we should not be excusing this behavior.  The dig yourself out attitude needs to actually be- make sure you avoid the situation completely because it's not hard to avoid.  We have got to be more responsible, men and women.  Women need to be more invested in themselves and only strive to make themselves better all the time, never settling for less in anything, including men.  Men need to adopt the same ideals. I will stop here, for now, I've been told I'm long winded.  ;) Don't be surprised if I touch on this again though, lol.

Don't ya think?

Isn't it ironic that I drive a brand new giant SUV, use aerosol hair sheen but will not allow myself to throw trash on the ground. Isn't it ironic that there's a woman somewhere doing her damnedest to convince people how horrible abortions are and to be "pro life" even though she has no idea where her own children are 90% of the time or what they're doing?   Isn't it ironic that the person who just rudely cut you off in traffic is yelling at you because you honked at them?  Isn't it ironic that people watch reality shows to make fun of the people involved, yet those people are making millions off them, while they work a 9-5 and are hating life?  Isn't it ironic that civil rights groups get all up in arms about a white/non black person killing a black person but say nothing about the disastrous number of black on black murders?  Isn't it ironic when white supremists tell other races to go back where they came from, as if they originated in America themselves? 

Damn you pride!

A long time ago, it took a very good friend to look me in the eye and tell me there's nothing wrong with asking for help.  It was with her advice that I learned how to truly start being less co dependant on other people. I know that may sound odd, but it makes sense in my twisted logic, loll. I was fortunate through the game show of my early life to be surrounded by some of the most intelligent people I have ever had the pleasure to encounter. From high school to my early twenties I was Blessed to have the company of people who were so open minded, honest, kind, real, and trustworthy so and so's,lol. I am so grateful to have been influenced by these people, they showed me how to be a better person, an honest person, the kind of person that many people have never ever encountered in their life and probably never will. I know that it is important to be humble and especially giving, I know that it is as important to be giving as much as it is important to take sometimes. I know that it is important to be there for people and take time for myself. I know that it is important to be complimentary and lift others up as much as it is important to want to be lifted up. I know how important it is to have a mutual respect for other people and their feelings and I can say that I love that about me, so thank you my Tucson friends! You are all incredible in your own way.

Yay!

♥ Can i just say how excited I am to see this! They're even singing live throughout the movie!!!! ♥

The positive side of music....

I love and adore music! All types of music, rnb, country, rap, musicals, classical... the more the better!  Every song speaks to me like a scene in a movie.  There are certain songs that I can listen to and the tears will flow like a beautiful sad river, and other songs make me so happy that I can't be still.  I have no idea why music has such a powerful grip on me, maybe because I was an only child for ten years I had to have a vivid imagination to keep from getting bored, and MTV provided a museum of different pictures to engage me or maybe it's because my house was constantly filled with music that wrapped me in a melodic blanket and took me to different places within my mind. 
    I've thought for awhile now how awesome it would be to choose songs for movie soundtracks, be surrounded by music allllllll day trying to choose the perfect fit for a particular feeling being created.  Music has the ability to transform a terrible moment into something incredible with just the sound of a note. I honestly don't think I could survive without music.  Music makes my soul smile.

But I'm sooooo much more than that....

I have had 1 serious constant struggle throughout my life.  It is quite possibly the most frustrating and mind boggling aspect I've had yet to overcome.   I have been told that I am too honest, too in your face, a Type A personality.   These descriptions given to me were always accompanied by, "and that's a great thing, but!  Maybe it would be better if you toned it down."  What I take this to mean is, your personality is fine, just adopt a different one while you're at work.  
   Why does my work not speak for itself?  Why do I have to pander to to the masses in order to be taken seriously about my work?  Yes I have a louder than normal laugh, I was Blessed with the ability to enjoy life heartily and I make no apologies for that.   It boggles my mind that a company goal is to keep their employees uncomfortable.  Obviously I don't feel it acceptable to be constantly yelling or being over the top throughout the workday on a constant basis, but why is the person who does their job and does it extremely well discounted because they're social?  
   Who would you rather work with, the person who is easy going or the person that Shhhhhhh's you for attempting social interaction?  Should my value as an employee be based solely on the level of my occasional laughter or the fact that when there is something to be done, I get it done 100%?  But alas that is life and it's all about perspective...

:O

I'm on Twitter!!! 

@MYTOAPF

O.o

I'm not always serious; )

Racism oh racism....

      I intended on writing about this at some point, just not this soon.  But with the elections over it's everywhere so why not!  Being the only black chick growing up from state to state and sometimes one of few, (except Alaska where there were plenty of black kids, go figure), I was always unconsciously conscience of the racial divide around me.  So as I grew older and my personality evolved, I knew that I had to overcome that issue and make it a non issue by just being me and not worrying about the small things so they don't turn into big things. With that being said I've always known that racism still existed but luckily growing up I didn't have to deal with it face to face... until I moved to Georgia in my early twenties.  From the shirtless skinhead with swastikas tattooed on his chest to the irritate customer that called me a stupid nigger under his breath... signs of what was to come.  When I moved to Florida I began to hear a term I wasn't familiar with, in abundance: cracker.   I couldn't understand the anger my people had towards white people until I began to see the injustices myself.  When I started seeing the news stories and seeing how people acted and treated us I was blown away and disgusted.  The horrible looks and comments and all around attitude from people I didn't even know. At one point it became suffocating to see how people of color were treated so differently.

    It is disappointing and upsetting to see so much hatred and ignorance that is built up in people!  How can you not be sadden by so much anger and then to know that there is no quick fix for this.  People will believe what they want to believe to make them feel comfortable, this will always be true to form....but on the other side of that, we cannot underplay the damage that we are doing to ourselves.  I look around at people and I shake my head at what I see... So needless to say I shake my head a lot!  We cannot expect other people of other cultures and races to respect us, when we obviously do not respect ourselves.  Obviously that doesn't go for the entire black race and obviously that doesn't exclude other races.  I cannot speak for other races, but I will speak about black people.  We have just got to do better.  I am sick of seeing men, young AND old with their pants around the calves, then their basketball shorts around their knees, just to have their boxers be the final layer of ridiculousness..... I am sick of seeing women young AND old with outrageous pink, purple, and yellow hairstyles walking around following these sloppy men.  I just don't understand... why  is this okay with us?  Why are we not holding ourselves to a higher standard?  Why is it okay to let men walk around looking sloppy and gross?  Why are women going after these men?  I just don't understand the fascination with "less than."  Young girls purposely fighting to be videotaped because of facebook or some other social network is funny?

    When do we say enough is enough?  When do we decide that we want the world to know that we are capable of so much more.  That even though how we dress and how we do our hair does not define us, it does represent the respect we have for ourselves.  When do we start to instill in our children real values that should carry them through life so that they do not look up to rappers and actors and quasi-celebrities?  When do we stand up and say that it is not okay to kill each other!  There is a line from a movie with skinheads (can't think of the exact movie right now :/) that says something to the effect of: there's no need to kill black people, because they're doing it themselves.  Can't argue with logic..... Racism is a terrible thing, of course, but what's even worse is that we're almost racist towards ourselves...not even giving ourselves a chance anymore.

Yes

You know how I know you're gay....

    Homosexuality... what's the big deal?  2 people enjoy each others company and they live their life.. this happens on a constant basis everyday.  Everyday this happiness between two people and it's a beautiful thing.  Sometimes for those lucky couples, they fall in love and make a conscience decision to make it a lifetime affair.  Maybe have kids and make it legal. Is that a problem.. being in love with someone you finally found you could trust? Apparently it is if that person so happens to share the same genitalia as you do. I mean imagine the audacity of two human beings born a certain way deciding they want love! How dare people think they are entitled to happiness! Whoever heard of such a thing!

    Next thing you know these people will try to work, drive, vote, contribute to the economy, donate to charities, entertain us, teach, and who knows what other unspeakable horrors! Oh wait those things are ok.... it's ok for homosexuals to build the economy, teach students, fight wars, heal people, and create and build? :o well then.... I guess it's okay if we butt into the personal aspects of their lives that only affect them... I know that I would rather have children lost in the system going from foster family to foster family or be abused or go hungry than have a homosexual raise them. And definitely don't let them marry, cuz that affects me in ways I can't think of. Legal rights! Never! For what? If you get hurt and end up in the hospital.. suffer by yourself, that's what we straight people do, legal rights aren't important just because there are thousands of marriages happening all the time, doesn't mean anything. Homosexuals are only important when they're contributing to society, cuz that's only when straight people are important.... right? That's the Christian way right, exclusion?

Responsibility and Consequence...

    Whatever happened to the days of Responsibility.  Parental responsibility, responsibility for self, corporate responsibility....do these things even exist anymore?  Obviously parental responsibility is a waning effort as shown by reality shows, recorded fights in school yards, and ever increasing child laws being placed into action.  The biggest lack of parental responsibility I see currently is the invention of "Cyberbullying".  Yes I put that word in quotation marks, because it is my opinion that it does not exist.  For the life of me, I cannot understand the credibility given to people that take so much time and energy to blame issues caused by their lack of parenting on the internet. Real, face to face bullying I can get on board with all day everyday, but not on Facebook, Myspace, or Twitter.  Can we call it bullying, when you can simply turn the computer off and walk away?  Why does America allow this?  Why do we allow a scapegoat for something so easily fixed?  Why are parents allowing their children to be online anytime doing anything they want?  Why do 12 year olds have Facebook?  Why are children using Twitter?  Do I believe that social interaction for children is important...of course.  Do I believe that children can only  do this online, no.

  I think there is a laughable contradiction for people that are so against abortion, but see nothing wrong with letting CHILDREN run free and do whatever they want, with no supervision.  Someone tried to explain to me how "real" this issue supposedly is by linking me to a story about a girl who was bullied in real life, as a result of the exchanges online....  I laughed out loud at this article about 1 minute in.  The article states that the "victim" went onto Myspace to talk badly about girls in her school, and in response to this, the girls confronted her face to face and fought her..  I am firm believer in common sense, so here's is what I interpreted from that article.... A girl went online and attempted to "Cyberbully" other people, and those people then brought reality to her front and center.  I still don't see how this was proving their point, seeing as the young woman essentially got what she was asking for. Parents are allowing children to use the internet as a place to hopefully hide and present themselves in a manner not true to fashion.  If something is going on in your child's life...their first response should not be to run to a social networking site, however were we able to manage years before these things?  If you don't want people causing issues with you online, then get offline and stop putting your whole life there, it is literally that simple.  Nobody ever died because they didn't log onto a social networking site.

   If your child ends up in online drama...why are you blaming the internet?  Children are using social networking sites to videotape their suicide notes caused by social networking sites...do you see the cycle?!  I can only feel sorry for the 15 year old that was stalked and harrassed online, because she wasn't given the necessary protection from her parents.  I cannot feel sorry for her for showing her breasts to a random stranger, sleeping with another 15 year old, or putting her whole life online.  Using the internet to live out your life has consequences and because they are children, we do not expect them to realize this, and therefore it is our duty as parents, as adults, to protect them and educate them.  Blaming your child's online bullying on the internet makes as much sense as blaming McDonald's for making the coffee you spilled on yourself, too hot.  Put blame where blame goes, accept responsibility for your actions or lack thereof.  If you really cared about these children, then you would step up and not wait to address these issues when it becomes a glaring problem....or too late.

Stereotypes....

Isn't life funny.. how we all know that to be so true.  One of the funniest jokes in life is personal outlook and how much it can differ from person to person.  Personally I believe that everyone's first instinct is to judge and there's nothing wrong with that, it's how you let that initial judgement influence your feelings afterwards that's important.  At first glance I might see a man in tight jeans, cowboy hat, with a rebel flag shirt and immediately assume he's racist. I often wonder what people's assumption is of me at first, especially since I am a walking contradiction.  Stereotypes are not always a good thing, but then again they're not always a bad thing.  The stereotype you brand someone with, may be the foot in your mouth at the end of the day.  The most annoying thing I have come to hear in my lifetime is: "you're just black, you're not a nigger."  And that is from all races.  Due to this election I have been branded a Liberal and a Democrat, when a few months ago I was just Kyla, Kyla with the exact same feelings and opinions that I have now.  Hopefully after the election I'll go back to: Kyla, just black, not a nigger......

Choices...

Hmmm.... Let's see.  I tried this before and didn't get far, but with my evergrowing age comes an evergrowing passion for different aspects about life.  I have to chuckle at my scene right now, writing in a blog, coffee cup on a school book, and listening to classical music!  Why the classical music you ask?  If I know me, which I do very well, I know listening to anything with words will be too much for my brain when I am trying to put all these thoughts down. ;)  So here goes:

  Choices.... Have you ever really thought about this concept, I mean really, really, truly thought about it?  After seeing a political cartoon on FB which depicts the want of some to force their religious beliefs onto others as a way of telling them what to do with their lives, similar to that of the Taliban.  The comments on this picture were mostly in agreeance, but of course there were those who were not so eager to agree.  Trying to take away someone's CHOICE, something that most everyone has waited for almost their entire young life, is an absolutely horrible and ridiculous thing to do!  Think about it, when we are children, we want to grow up so fast.  We want to be able to CHOOSE for ourselves what we eat, what we watch, what we play with, and even what time we go to bed and wake up.  Alas, because we are children, for most of us, those were never our CHOICES to make.  Therefore we are forced to wait, wait until we become adults so that we then can make CHOICES and decisions for ourselves like our parents.

   In a way, as a child, being able to make our own CHOICES is almost a privilege.  A privilege we will get once we are grown up enough.  Now fast forward to the future, you are now an adult, you work, pay bills, and do all of the grown up things that you so wanted to do as a child; even though it is not as fun as you may have thought it would be.  Along with the dreaded responsibilities also comes the wonderful power of CHOICE!  How exciting to be able to go to bed when you want to, eat what you want, dress how you want, and even go where you want to!  It has finally happened, you have transgressed into CHOICE-hood!  Everything you do is a direct result of the CHOICES that you, and you alone make, how wonderful!  If you want your own apartment, you make it happen because you CHOOSE to work.  Your CHOICE to work grants you the ability to buy your own food, your own clothes, and drive a car possibly.  Now that you have reached the CHOICE-hood mountaintop the world is your oyster.....unless you are a woman.  No longer is CHOICE-hood so great because when it comes to certain CHOICES, it is not just you that is affected or even necessarily involved.  You may make the CHOICE to have sex, but now the ramifications of that are no longer your CHOICE.  The person you CHOOSE to have sex with is now involved in the after CHOICES as well as your doctor, your body as the silent negotiator, and some people seem to think them as well.  Random people who you may have never met or heard of in your entire life, now feel the need to be apart of your CHOICE making process.  People who are not interested in your well-being, now feel that they should be included in how you proceed with just this portion of CHOICE-hood.
 
  I suppose that might be a good thing to have someone involved in your CHOICE-hood when it comes to deciding if the dress you picked out was horribly ugly or the way you plan to do your hair just doesn't quite fit your face or even to help you eat a little healthier.  Unfortunately these people are just not that interested in those CHOICES because they are about you.  No, no, no, these people are interested in your CHOICES now, because their CHOICE is to meddle, prod, and stand on their soapbox about something that does not concern them in the least.  Their CHOICE is not to educate you on your CHOICES, but rather to tell you flat out what would be in your best interest.....as far as they're concerned, of course.  Can you imagine how horrible life would be for someone to make all of your adult CHOICES for you....without even knowing you or giving a damn about how you would be affected by those CHOICES?